The Feet of the Suffering

One image that I have not been able to erase from my mind this entire week is the feet of one of our orphans who are registered for child sponsorship.  I looked at them on Sunday morning before the start of our Children's Church Service, but now-almost a week later-I still see them vividly in my mind.  I had called the girl from the group because she appeared as if she wasn't feeling well.  When she came up to see me, I glanced down at her feet.  They had many open wounds on them, even between her toes.  I asked my friend and coworker Peter what had caused them.  He told me "jiggers," which are parasitic larvae of mites that enter the skin of humans, animals, etc. The jiggers need to be removed soon after they enter or they continue to lay eggs.  As a result of having to dig into the skin, wounds can be created in the places where the jiggers have been cut out.  It was obvious that this girl had many jiggers that had entered her feet, but it also appeared like some of her wounds had become infected.  I cannot imagine the discomfort she must have been experiencing.  I felt pain just looking at her feet.  

As I looked at her feet, I thought about how much this little girl must be suffering, and the flame in my heart to relieve the suffering of children once again ignited.  I thought about the lack of care she must be receiving, and I prayed "God, please help me to be able to do something for these children.  There must be more that I can do.  Providing school supplies is not enough..."  I thought about her innocence...I thought about her empty childhood... I thought about her sorrow...I know that her guardian(s) may not purposely neglect this little girl.  They may just be too old and tired to have the energy to provide the care that is needed.  (One of the preventative measures for jiggers invading your house is to pour water on the dirt floor every day or smear cow manure on it.)  I have personally visited some of the children's homes and met their guardians.  I know that some of them are physically incapable of caring for the children with whom they have been entrusted. 

It breaks my heart to think about the life this little girl must be living.  Throughout the week I have been contemplating how the physical wounds in her feet also reveal something about the unseen emotional and psychological wounds in her life.  I have been thinking about what these orphans and vulnerable children must endure day after day.  I have been praying, "God please help me to find a way to improve their living conditions and bring hope in the midst of their suffering." 

Please keep praying for me and this ministry at large.  There are so many needs around us, but finding and implementing solutions is not simple.  It is much easier to see the detrimental effects of the problem than it is to diagnose and solve it.  We need the wisdom and strength of the Lord.  I know that Jesus is the only solution to Africa's suffering.  I am aware that my mission would be unattainable if I were pursuing it on my own,.  I am fully determined to follow God and follow His heart so that I might leave an impact on this world.  I know that God will help me "change a life" and "change a nation" one day at a time because He has called me here.

"Seeing Uganda Through God's Eyes"

My Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray that you would please help me to continually see Uganda through your eyes.  As time continues to pass, may my heart not grow cold or indifferent to the things I see around me.  May I not be overcome with frustration by the people who try to use me or simply look at me as someone who owes them something, but may I look at them with your agape love that loves even when the true intentions of the heart are revealed.  When I feel like the outcast, may I not cast out others.  When I quickly see the negative, change my attitude to see the positive. When I am only looking in the natural, change my eyes to see what you see in the spiritual.  Train my heart, my mind, my soul...

Teach me to place the same value you place on every individual-whether big or small, rich or poor, guilty or innocent, kind or unkind, grateful or ungrateful.  Teach me to always consider others as better than myself and focus on their needs instead of my own.  May the same love that compelled you to give up your one and only Son to save others, compel me to give up my life and my comforts to improve the lives of others.  I pray that my ears and heart would not choose to ignore the loud and silent cries of the suffering, but that I would become more attuned to the cries that you plainly hear and respond in a manner that you would want me to.  Give me wisdom to reach a nation and culture that is completely new and unfamiliar to me.  Give me the courage to persevere when I am tired, overwhelmed, discouraged, or confused.  Give me the grace I need to love, forgive, and serve wherever you lead me.  Give me the patience to move at your pace and not mine.  Give me the faith to always believe you for the impossible-no matter what the outward circumstances reveal.

I cannot do any of this on my own.  My eyes will grow tired of seeing...My ears will grow tired of hearing....My body will grow weary of giving...My heart will grow tired of hurting...

Yet, I know, if you place your heart in mine, I will never grow tired of seeing, hearing, giving, and hurting; instead, I will be ready to face another day pouring out my life as a love offering for others.

Trusting the One who Satisfies

It is amazing the lessons God teaches us through the simple events of our lives.  If I keep my heart tuned into His Spirit, I find the Lord speaking to me in a variety of ways and circumstances.  One of these lessons was taught through a little boy whom I took for medical treatment a while ago. 

After we had finished at the Medical Clinic, I wanted to take the boy to my home for lunch.  I knew that he had to be hungry because he had not eaten anything all morning.  This boy did not know how to speak English and our translator had left because he had other engagements.  I tried to say what I could to reassure the boy I was going to take him to a safe place.  This boy was extremely shy around me when he first met me so I was not sure if he would be willing to come with me.  All I could say to the boy was "Come, food.."  (I am still trying to learn Lutorro, but I am definitely not anywhere near being fluent.)  I then took his hand, and we walked together to my house.  As we were walking, God taught me a lesson about faith. 

This boy had few experiences with me, and he could not speak freely with me or understand most of my words.  He had never been in this area before, and he had no idea where I was taking him; yet, he trusted me to lead him to a place where he would be satisfied.  He put His faith in me and made the choice to walk with me.  He did not cry or scream.  He silently walked with me to the place where I led him.  As a result of him putting his trust in me, he received a full meal and became physically satisfied. 

At times, the Christian walk can seem very difficult.  We don't understand why things have happened or are happening...We don't know where we are heading...The communication between us and God seems to be unclear...However, God wants us to put our wholehearted faith and trust in Him-the only one who truly satisfies.  We need to believe that He is leading us in the right direction, and we can come to him to find true satisfaction for our hearts and souls.  We need to have quite confidence and trust in the Lord-not kicking, screaming, or complaining about where he is taking us, but completely submitting to His Lordship over our lives and going where He leads us.  I know this is much easier said than done.  I have moments where I struggle with where it looks like God is taking me or how He is doing it; however, this event with this little boy challenged me all the more to deepen my level of faith and obey the Lord-whether I am walking in blind faith or am seeing.  I want to be completely faithful to trust the only one who sincerely satisfies.

Walking into a Miracle

I was walking in Kampala, and I accidentally stepped on the back of a woman's shoe. I immediately said, "I'm sorry," and the woman said, "It's okay. You can go around me. I'm weak." I walked around her and continued walking, but as I did I her words "I'm weak" kept echoing in my ears and mind." I thought, "She must be sick." I felt a strong tug in my heart that I should go back and ask her if she was sick and if I could pray for her. I was nervous about going back to talk to her, but I knew it was something I had to do. I turned around and looked for her. At first, I couldn't see her, but then I finally spotted her. I quickly walked to where she was and proceeded to talk to her. During our conversation, I found out that she had been in a taxi accident a year ago. Ever since then, her foot had become crippled, and she had to stop working. As she shared her story, she continued to emphasize that God had kept her and her children throughout this difficult time. She really praised the Lord for His faithfulness and told me that she would not have made it if it were not for him. She told me she knew the Lord loved her and that even today he had used me to remind her of that. She had tears in her eyes as she spoke to me, and I felt my heart connect with hers in a powerful way. She told me that she prayed the Lord would bless me with a greater anointing to pray for the sick and bless my family and ministry. Then she continued to thank me for coming back. She told me she was very touched by my actions and that she is even going to consider me as one of her daughters. She told me that she would pray for me faithfully every day and the ministry God has called me to do. We exchanged contact information, and then I walked away.

As I did, my heart was so full. This simple gesture had not produced a physical miracle-I'm still praying for that-, but it had performed a miracle of the heart. I knew that this woman had been deeply touched, and I was also touched. I was blessed in my heart by her words and facial expressions. I knew that God had reached down and touched her today. Not because of who I am or what I did, but because I stopped to listen for the heart of God.

Many times in life we grow busy with our own lives and agendas. We forget to listen for God's heart. We can't feel the Master's "tug" on our heart because our pace of life or personal cares drown it out. I wonder how many opportunities for miracles or blessings we have missed just because we were too busy to listen for the heart of God. I pray that even in the midst of all of my cares and responsibilities, I will always take time to listen for the heart of my Master and follow His leading to those who desperately need His touch, those who need to know that there is a God who sees them and their condition, those He wants to remind of His love and care.

Tears of Sorrow Turned to Tears of Joy

He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted ... to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Kyenjojo (personal emphasis added). Isaiah 61:1-3

Offering comfort to those who mourn is often not easy, but I thank the Lord I was able to impact the life of one girl and change her tears of sorrow to tears of joy. I wish I could tell her story as clearly and full of emotion as she presented it Sunday morning, but I will try my best to retell it the best I can because I believe it is a story that needs to be told. You are also part of bringing comfort to those who mourn in Kyenjojo.

Rose's life changed dramatically at the age of seven when her father died of AIDS and her mother, also diagnosed with AIDS, was left alone to care for five children. Rose knew that from this moment on everything in her life was about to change. Her heart was filled with extreme pain and hopelessness as she not only had to say good-bye to her father, but also to her dreams of going to school and becoming a teacher some day. There was no way that her mother could provide food for all of the children and pay for school uniforms, supplies, and examination fees.

The pain was just too much for Rose to bear, and many times throughout the day she would find herself shedding tears uncontrollably. She would continue to ask her mother if she could go to school, but her mother could only reply that there was nothing she could do. Rose tried to raise money by selling the crops from their garden. She had calculated how much money she would need to begin school again, but she always found herself short because the money she earned would have to be spent on kerosene, salt, and other needs at home. Her mother was sick and very weak most of the time so she also had to care for her younger brothers and sisters.

One day, a woman came to ask Rose if she would come and work for her as a house girl and caretaker of her children. However, when Rose saw what the woman was willing to pay she knew it would not be enough to support her family. She also did not want to give up her dream of going to school. A few weeks passed and Rose had almost lost all hope of going back to school when a teacher from her school came to visit her. He had a muzungu (white) lady with him. Rose could not believe her eyes and could hardly contain her excitement! She never imagined that a muzungu would come to visit her. She thought in her mind, "Who am I to have a muzungu come to my house?". Nevertheless, the muzungu had not only come to visit her, but also to bring her all of the school supplies she needed to begin school. Her dream of going to school was actually going to happen! She was overwhelmed with such joy that she could not help but shed tears of happiness. Rose knew in her heart that from this day on her life was going to improve for the better. To this day, Rose has never forgotten the day the muzungu came and continues to thank God for the miracle that He brought into her life.