As for me, I thank God I’m alive...

This statement is spoken by most of our people who stand up in church to introduce themselves and/or give a testimony.  The more I hear these words, the more they leave a lasting impression on me.  I come from a very blessed nation-USA, and I don’t remember frequently hearing church members, and especially visitors, thanking God they were alive.  When I first came to Uganda, I thought maybe this was just a formal way of greeting the church such as Praise the Lord and Hallelujah, but now I am understanding more that these people truly are thankful to the Lord that they are alive.  They realize they face many challenges in their lives and that others around them have died due to these difficult circumstances.   They are fully aware it is a blessing they have life this day.   

A few weeks ago, I was speaking with the Inspector of Health Facilities in Kyenjojo District.  He was talking to me about the lack of medical facilities and even medication in Uganda.  He was saying that if you survive an illness, it is just the grace of God.  He was talking to me about someone in the village who gets bit by a poisonous snake and has to walk miles to the nearest health facility.  He said that this person can reach the facility and find the doctor not there or the medication he needs is unavailable.  By the time the doctor finally comes, the poison has spread throughout the body, and it is too late to do anything so the person dies.     

Then just two days ago, Pastor Victor heard a story about a baby who died in December in a nearby area because the Doctor had no gloves to deliver the baby.  My heart breaks when I see and hear these things.  The medical situation here is sometimes unimaginable because of where I come from, but I keep praying to God that we will be able to make a difference in many lives and improve the medical standard around our area.  I pray that many people will be able to say I thank God I’m alive, and I thank God for God’s Care Ministries and Heart for Uganda that made it possible for me to get medication and treatment. 

Unimaginable Suffering

Sometimes I wonder why children have to endure so much suffering. They are purely innocent, yet they are forced to undergo an extreme amount of pain. When I reflect back on my childhood, I see I was very blessed to be born in the country and family I was. I sincerely cannot imagine facing even a small portion of what many of these Ugandan children face.

My biggest fears as a child were the dark, spiders, bears, and my house catching on fire. These children's biggest fears include hunger, bullets, death, being beaten, and having no place to live. As a child, I had everything I needed to go to school. In fact, I'll never forget the excitement I felt when it was time for "Back to School" shopping. In those days, I never had to think about being sent away from school. Now, as an adult, I see many of the children here don't even have a small notebook or a pencil or pen to take to school. I see and hear many children who have been sent away from school because they didn't have school uniforms, supplies, or couldn't pay school fees. (Actually it is almost a daily occurrence.) Additionally, I hear the orphans' stories about asking for these items from their extended relatives, who are acting as caregivers, only to receive abusive remarks such as "Go to the grave of your mother to get money for schooling." These children are left to beg from friends and others to receive or borrow one pen and notebook.

When I was punished as a child I deserved it, and it helped mold me into a better person. When many of these orphans are punished, it is often without a just cause and creates even more fear and pain in their hearts. As a child, I had daily chores to complete in order to teach me the value of having a good work ethic. Some of these Ugandan children are forced to do a large quantity of hard work every day, even before they go to school. As a result, they come to class late and very exhausted. Finally, when I was a child I remember laughing often and crying little. However, many of these orphaned children cry often and laugh little. The pain and sorrow is seen in their eyes, heard in their voice, and shown on their bodies. This cry for help is clearly communicated, and I cannot help but respond. It is my prayer that God will continue to use all of us to intervene in their situations and rescue many of these children.

Mixed Emotions

My return to Kyenjojo has been both exciting and overwhelming. I cannot express the joy that filled my heart as I attended my first service in two and a half months at God's Care Church. As I looked at the faces of all of my friends and especially the children heard the familiar voices and African songs, witnessed their exuberant dancing, and felt the strong presence of the Lord, I could not fight back the tears. These tears were tears of jubilation. I was so thankful to be back! As I stood to address the people, my voice choked and the tears again flowed. I did not expect to feel such strong emotions, but I know they came from the deep love inside my heart for these people.

It is truly beautiful to see how God has connected my heart to these people who live so far from where I grew up. It is incomprehensible to me how strongly my heart is drawn to this area. Even the people in the hospital in Kampala expressed their amazement for my love for Kyenjojo. They would say, "You and Kyenjojo. You must really love that place." I do love this area with all of my heart. I truly can say of Kyenjojo, "There is no place like home," because "Home is where the heart is."

On the other hand, I shed tears of sorrow and pain as I looked at many of our children at God's Care Church and was again faced with their numerous needs. Although I have spent one and a half years living in Uganda, I can say that the suffering of the African people and children still astounds me. I really cannot imagine what daily life is like for them or how much pain they endure throughout their lifetimes. When you look at their faces, their clothes, their bodies, and especially their eyes, you can only imagine what they have been forced to endure by no choice of their own. As I have returned to work, the many challenges and needs of the Ugandan children and people are again brought before me. For example, just this week these issues have come up. 1. A 13-year-old girl had to miss school on Monday to go get AIDS medication for her very sick mother. She came requesting transport money so she could travel 9 miles to a nearby village where it was offered for free. 2. The same girl has received counseling to address her question, "What if my mother dies?" She has been advised that she will be the one to care for her four younger brothers and sisters when it happens so she will need to work very hard to grow food for the family. (There are no adults staying with the children other than the sick mother.) 3. A boy of 7 is caned because he hasn't been going to school. When further investigation is done to see why he doesn't want to attend school, it is discovered that the reason is because he is hungry. He said, "The only meal I eat is supper. When I wake up in the morning there is no food, and it is very hard to sit in school all day without eating." At least if I stay home, I can find some little food. (Him and his two brothers age two and five look for small sweet potatoes in their garden or steal some from nearby neighbors' gardens. The mother and grandmother are both gone throughout the day, leaving all of these children to care for themselves.) 3. One of our sponsored childrens' mother's has come to ask for help because she fears her house is going to fall down. (We have many families in this area in the same situation.) 4. An older woman came to our house this morning saying she has been chased from where she was living and has no place to stay.

God continues to break my heart for these people. I have asked God to help me never grow cold or indifferent to their needs. I don't want to get used to hearing or seeing these situations. I want to hurt each time because if I feel no pain, I may not move in compassion and may lose my passion to bring hope to this nation. God continues to answer my prayer, but he does it through various ways. Even during my illnesses in Kampala, I was once again challenged regarding the suffering of others. I look at Uganda through different eyes because of the circumstances I personally had to endure. (Sometimes I wonder if my illnesses are part of my compassion training.) In these eyes, there is some sense of empathy and understanding because I too have had to endure pain and illness. But the sympathy is even greater because I know in the midst of my pain, I at least was given the opportunity to be treated in a hospital and did not have to walk miles to receive this service. I could rest in a bed, not on a hard dirt floor. I could ride in a car to the hospital for delivery, not in a taxi, motorcycle, bicycle, or no vehicle at all.

As I drive or walk on Uganda's bumpy roads and/or wait in numerous traffic jams, I look at the people through unveiled eyes and think about them with a renewed mind and compassionate heart. I once again find myself fighting back the tears and having a renewed urgency to do all I can to alleviate the suffering of others. I may not be able to solve all of the problems of Uganda or give assistance to each needy person, but I am determined to improve the lives of all I can. I have wholeheartedly resolved to commit my life to give new life to others.

The Power of Love

Here are two stories of love penetrating through communication, as well as other barriers, and making a difference in my life and the lives of others.

1. Pastor Victor and I chose to take in two orphans and begin caring for them from our home. Our hearts had been touched with compassion as we heard about the physical, emotional, and mental abuse they were enduring simply because they were orphans. We felt a special connection to them when we first met and saw great potential in them. We wanted to offer them a better life and future.

When we first took them in, it was especially difficult for me because I could only speak short conversations with them. They also seemed so independent and distant in some ways. It did not seem to matter if they received special love from us or not. When we would come home, they did not even seem to be very excited. Even in the times that I would travel to Kampala for doctor's appointments, they did not seem to miss me. It seemed that all they needed was a safe place to live and food to eat. I tried to remind myself that they were not accustomed to receiving tender love and probably did not know how to respond. I understood that it had to also be difficult for them to communicate to me because of their limited English vocabulary. (Although Pastor Victor had mentioned to me that they were not responsive to him either.)

I continued to pray that God would help these children feel loved in a special way and that the love they received from Pastor Victor and I would change their lives. I decided to do as much as I could to show them love, even if they did not react to it or seem to appreciate it. I would tell them I loved them before they went to bed, and they would laugh. I would tell them I missed them, but they would only smile or cover their faces. I would give them a hug, but they would simply act very shy. I would try to speak what I could to them and show them that I cared, but it did not seem to be making a difference.

Then one night (It was actually the night I returned from Kampala after being admitted in the hospital for the first time.), I saw a glimpse of hope as the boy expressed his heart to me. I had come into the house, but neither of the children greeted me or acted happy to see me. I greeted them, but I was feeling quite sad because it did not seem they missed me even a little bit. Later that night, when the boy and I were sitting in our living room, he looked at me and spoke these words in very clear English. "Thank you for coming back. I love you so much. I kept wondering, 'When is Abooki coming back?' I now feel much joy in my heart." I could not believe my ears. I was so touched I wanted to cry! I realized that I had made some impact on this child's life, and he did care for me. I said a very thankful prayer to God for this special moment and asked that He would send many more like it.

2. Due to health reasons, I have been away from Kyenjojo for over a month. I decided to call one of the ladies in the church just to see how she was doing. When I called her, she sounded very happy to hear from me. We only talked for a couple of minutes, but the joy that filled my heart as I heard her excitement lasted all evening. Then, shortly before I fell asleep I received a message on my phone that brought even greater delight to my heart. It said, "Though I don't visit you a lot, neither talk much to you, I do love you mommy. I miss you, and I pray for you always. Hope to meet you soon. God bless you mommy. (In Uganda, Pastors' wives are considered to be mothers to everyone in the congregation.)"

In this short message love was communicated more vividly to me than other messages or letters with many words. Once again, I find myself learning more about love. I learned… The value of loving others cannot be measured. The method of loving others cannot be clearly defined. It has no method or formula--it has to be a part of you. As love lives inside of you, it is freely expressed outside of you. You embrace others not just with your hands, but with your eyes, your ears, your words, your face, your heart, your actions, and your life. Finally, as you continue to freely give love to others, you find that somehow, somewhere, love is given back to you.  May God help us all live a life of love that we may leave permanent footprints on the hearts of others.


 

Keep Loving No Matter What

I think one of the most valuable lessons that the Lord has taught me while I have been in Uganda is "to keep loving" no matter what--no matter whether it seems my love is making no difference at all, no matter how I feel, no matter what I think, no matter what I see or hear... It is vital for me to keep pouring out my heart and acting out of love and compassion--no matter if it costs me my pride, my dignity, my comfort, my life…That is what Jesus did for us, and I have realized he expects no less of his followers. His love was not dependent on results. His love was not dependent on the reactions of others. He loved freely and consistently. I need to do the same. His life impacted and still impacts many because of the love that filled his heart; that love is still drawing many today, even though he is no longer physically present. It is our capacity to love that will survive even after we have gone. It is our heart of compassion that leaves a permanent mark on others' lives. It is not our money, our gifts, our words, or our prestige that truly counts in life. It is our ability to love and the measure we administer to others.

As I continue to live in Uganda and ask the Lord to fill me with more love for the people, I cannot say I have always seen immediate results from my actions of love. Nevertheless, I know in my heart that loving others wholeheartedly is changing others and it's changing me. There are challenges to showing love in a nation where genuine love is not easily expressed and can even be seen as a weakness, where mistrust, disloyalty, evil, and selfishness prevail, and where abuse and neglect are looked at as common place occurrences. Yet, I know one of the main reasons God has called me to this nation is to demonstrate and freely express His love to others. He has revealed to me that it is not money, power, or prestige that saves a nation; it is the agape love of Christ. This is what changed the lives of others two thousand years ago and is still changing the world today-when Jesus gave up his life for the sake of love and saved the world forever.

Pray, Be Still, and Let God Act

Pray, be still, and let God act for truly he is a miraculous God. I have seen this message become a reality in my life and ministry, but I continue to see it be fulfilled in greater magnitude as I continue to follow the Lord in obedience. We have a tendency as Christians to want things to be done in our way and in our time frame. I think that we, as Americans, especially have a difficult time being still. We get so accustomed to the fast pace of life. There are many things we don't have to wait for. There are time schedules that dictate and control our lives. Many times we don't even know how to slow down. If we have to wait for something or if we see things not happening, our first tendency is to worry, panic, or try to do something to make them move.

    Nevertheless, my time of ministry in Uganda (as well as my last year or year in a half in America) has really challenged this somewhat innate tendency of mine. The unbelievable part in all of this is that God has really given me peace to trust his timing and his methods throughout this journey of obedience. When I find myself beginning to walk down the path of fear and worry, the Lord gently reminds me that it is not my timetable, talent, or ability that is necessary for His mission to be fulfilled. He knows exactly what needs done and can make it all happen in just the right time. (I think sometimes he may delay things just to strengthen our faith and trust in Him and His promises—and maybe to remind us who is in control. Just think of how long Abraham had to wait until he saw his biggest miracle!)

    I have found it is important to be faithful and obedient in what God asks of you-to pursue what you can pursue and do all that you can do to see that things move. Yet, truly the most vital work that can be done is to pray and believe. This is one reason I continue to tell all of my supporters and prayer warriors that they play a very big role in this ministry. It is the prayers of all of us that are moving mountains-releasing the power of God and enabling Him to act on our behalf. (Isaiah 64:4 Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.)

    In this last week, I have truly seen many miracles in our ministry and am very excited about the open Heaven that has been released upon us. I rejoice because the prayers of many have been answered, and I know it is only God who has made all of it possible. I pray we all continue to learn the art of waiting, resting, and trusting in God.
 
"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him…" Psalm 37:7

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10

"And it will be said in that day, Behold, this is our God for whom we have waited that He might save us. This is the Lord for whom we have waited; Let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation." Isaiah 25:9

The Feet of the Suffering

One image that I have not been able to erase from my mind this entire week is the feet of one of our orphans who are registered for child sponsorship.  I looked at them on Sunday morning before the start of our Children's Church Service, but now-almost a week later-I still see them vividly in my mind.  I had called the girl from the group because she appeared as if she wasn't feeling well.  When she came up to see me, I glanced down at her feet.  They had many open wounds on them, even between her toes.  I asked my friend and coworker Peter what had caused them.  He told me "jiggers," which are parasitic larvae of mites that enter the skin of humans, animals, etc. The jiggers need to be removed soon after they enter or they continue to lay eggs.  As a result of having to dig into the skin, wounds can be created in the places where the jiggers have been cut out.  It was obvious that this girl had many jiggers that had entered her feet, but it also appeared like some of her wounds had become infected.  I cannot imagine the discomfort she must have been experiencing.  I felt pain just looking at her feet.  

As I looked at her feet, I thought about how much this little girl must be suffering, and the flame in my heart to relieve the suffering of children once again ignited.  I thought about the lack of care she must be receiving, and I prayed "God, please help me to be able to do something for these children.  There must be more that I can do.  Providing school supplies is not enough..."  I thought about her innocence...I thought about her empty childhood... I thought about her sorrow...I know that her guardian(s) may not purposely neglect this little girl.  They may just be too old and tired to have the energy to provide the care that is needed.  (One of the preventative measures for jiggers invading your house is to pour water on the dirt floor every day or smear cow manure on it.)  I have personally visited some of the children's homes and met their guardians.  I know that some of them are physically incapable of caring for the children with whom they have been entrusted. 

It breaks my heart to think about the life this little girl must be living.  Throughout the week I have been contemplating how the physical wounds in her feet also reveal something about the unseen emotional and psychological wounds in her life.  I have been thinking about what these orphans and vulnerable children must endure day after day.  I have been praying, "God please help me to find a way to improve their living conditions and bring hope in the midst of their suffering." 

Please keep praying for me and this ministry at large.  There are so many needs around us, but finding and implementing solutions is not simple.  It is much easier to see the detrimental effects of the problem than it is to diagnose and solve it.  We need the wisdom and strength of the Lord.  I know that Jesus is the only solution to Africa's suffering.  I am aware that my mission would be unattainable if I were pursuing it on my own,.  I am fully determined to follow God and follow His heart so that I might leave an impact on this world.  I know that God will help me "change a life" and "change a nation" one day at a time because He has called me here.