Many Times Their Pain Is Unbearable

This past Sunday at church I had an experience that broke my heart, but opened up my eyes even further to see the pain that the orphans face and have to endure. I have realized that any pain I experience is nothing in comparison to what they experience and have experienced.

When it was time for testimonies, an elderly woman who was a first time visitor came forward and began to mention her gratitude toward the Pastor (Pastor Victor) and his wife (me) who showed care and concern for her orphaned grandchildren. The grandmother went on to mention that we had brought school supplies, blankets, and other items, as well as visited her and her grandchildren at their home.

She called the boys to come and stand before the congregation. The boys were both shy, but one of them finally came forward-the youngest one. I recognized him right away. (He was a boy whom we had visited a few times, but every time I saw him and his living conditions, my heart was grieved. I remember looking at him and feeling such compassion. The sorrow that was communicated through his eyes and his face definitely gripped me. He was extremely malnourished and looked destitute and helpless. He looked to be about age 6 or 7, but was actually age 10.)

When this boy came forward, his grandmother began to share his story about how both of his parents had died before he was one year old. The moment she began to speak, the boy began to shed many tears. He tried to stop them, but they continued to flow uncontrollably. I also began to weep as I saw the agony of this child. Pastor Victor called him to sit beside him while his grandmother finished speaking.

His grandmother continued thanking us and then went back to her seat. The boy remained sitting next to Pastor Victor and I. I gave him a hug and told him I loved him, but these gestures seemed so insignificant and almost useless. I knew they could not erase the pain in his heart, and I deeply wished there was something more that I could do to comfort this little boy. The boy continued to weep throughout the entire service. He would try to stop the tears, but I could see that this was an impossible task for him. The pain was just too unbearable.

This is the first time since I have been in Uganda that I have seen an orphan express such sorrow. It really had a powerful effect on me. In fact, I could not get that child's face out of my mind for the rest of that day and even had difficulty sleeping. I could not stop thinking about the many children who share similar stories and deal with similar pain. I kept thinking I have to find them and rescue them. I have to give them hope.

I know that there are many out there just like this boy. Their hearts are breaking, and they often shed tears-whether seen or unseen by humans. They live in pain every day and long for their parents to be alive. Many of them wish that they would have been given the opportunity to meet their parents and know what they were like. Pastor Victor told me that he has seen many orphans shed tears as their stories are retold to others and that I will continue to see this as I spend more time in Uganda and work with orphans.

Even though this may have been my first experience to see this deep inner pain of an AID's orphan expressed outwardly, I know that it is not God's first time. He has seen and continues to see the cries of these children-both the cries of their eyes and the cries of their hearts. He has sent me and you to be the answer to these cries. May we be faithful to this call. May we not lose heart, grow tired or weary, or shrink back, but may we continue to do all that is in our power to deliver the helpless, to bring comfort to the hurting, and to give love to the forsaken. I promise to do my part, will you now do yours?

Sometimes the Pain is Unbearable

Sometimes seeing the pain of the suffering is unbearable. I think, "How can I look at one more child that is hurting and not be hurt to the point of no return? ". I wonder, "How much more can I keep seeing and not have my heart be broken into unrepairable pieces?". Sometimes I wonder, "How much more sorrow can I see and still be able to continue on in happiness?". Yet, actually I thank God that I see the suffering of others, and it hurts. I know that at times God sends the suffering to me to continually remind me of why I am here-of what my mission is. (Just as when Jesus looked at the suffering in the crowds, I'm sure that He was reminded of what His mission on earth was. He was reminded of why God sent him to this earth- to bring hope and life to others, to relieve their suffering.) His heart was continually moved with compassion as he saw the lost and hopeless, the sick and dying, and the lonely and rejected. This compassion gave him a passion to fulfill the destiny for which he was created-to give his life for the sake of making life better for others.

This is also why I know I have been sent to Uganda. I am here to relieve the suffering of others, especially the children, and give them love and hope. My heart is deeply moved as I see children who are sick, impoverished, malnourished, lonely, sad, and abandoned. As a result, my heart is stirred to do something about their condition. I am filled with an even greater passion to pursue the destiny the Lord has created for me.

As I stepped out of my house today and found some of the children who gather at my house, I prayed for God to make a way for these children to be rescued. As the cry of one of these children pierced my ears, it also pierced my heart. When I held this sick and very malnourished child in my arms, I cried out in desperation for God to enable me to rescue many children just like this child. I know I have to be patient for the Lord to fulfill his visions and dreams for me, but I definitely am more than determined to keep persevering and find a way to create a better life for these children. As I pursue this destiny and am obedient to the Lord's voice, I know that He will give me the grace and the strength to both accept the joys and the sorrows of the calling He has purposed for my life. I will keep focused-not only on the one child that I have impacted, but more importantly on the face of my master, and I will make it, even through the pain.