Living God's Dream

As for me, I thank God I’m alive...

2011-05-21T07:09:00.000-07:00

This statement is spoken by most of our people who stand up in church to introduce themselves and/or give a testimony. The more I hear these words, the more they leave a lasting impression on me. I come from a very blessed nation-USA, and I don’t remember frequently hearing church members, and especially visitors, thanking God they were alive. When I first came to Uganda, I thought maybe this was just a formal way of greeting the church such as Praise the Lord and Hallelujah, but now I am understanding more that these people truly are thankful to the Lord that they are alive. They realize they face many challenges in their lives and that others around them have died due to these difficult circumstances. They are fully aware it is a blessing they have life this day.

A few weeks ago, I was speaking with the Inspector of Health Facilities in Kyenjojo District. He was talking to me about the lack of medical facilities and even medication in Uganda. He was saying that if you survive an illness, it is just the grace of God. He was talking to me about someone in the village who gets bit by a poisonous snake and has to walk miles to the nearest health facility. He said that this person can reach the facility and find the doctor not there or the medication he needs is unavailable. By the time the doctor finally comes, the poison has spread throughout the body, and it is too late to do anything so the person dies.

Then just two days ago, Pastor Victor heard a story about a baby who died in December in a nearby area because the Doctor had no gloves to deliver the baby. My heart breaks when I see and hear these things. The medical situation here is sometimes unimaginable because of where I come from, but I keep praying to God that we will be able to make a difference in many lives and improve the medical standard around our area. I pray that many people will be able to say I thank God I’m alive, and I thank God for God’s Care Ministries and Heart for Uganda that made it possible for me to get medication and treatment.

Unimaginable Suffering

2010-07-19T04:19:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I wonder why children have to endure so much suffering. They are purely innocent, yet they are forced to undergo an extreme amount of pain. When I reflect back on my childhood, I see I was very blessed to be born in the country and family I was. I sincerely cannot imagine facing even a small portion of what many of these Ugandan children face.

My biggest fears as a child were the dark, spiders, bears, and my house catching on fire. These children's biggest fears include hunger, bullets, death, being beaten, and having no place to live. As a child, I had everything I needed to go to school. In fact, I'll never forget the excitement I felt when it was time for "Back to School" shopping. In those days, I never had to think about being sent away from school. Now, as an adult, I see many of the children here don't even have a small notebook or a pencil or pen to take to school. I see and hear many children who have been sent away from school because they didn't have school uniforms, supplies, or couldn't pay school fees. (Actually it is almost a daily occurrence.) Additionally, I hear the orphans' stories about asking for these items from their extended relatives, who are acting as caregivers, only to receive abusive remarks such as "Go to the grave of your mother to get money for schooling." These children are left to beg from friends and others to receive or borrow one pen and notebook.

When I was punished as a child I deserved it, and it helped mold me into a better person. When many of these orphans are punished, it is often without a just cause and creates even more fear and pain in their hearts. As a child, I had daily chores to complete in order to teach me the value of having a good work ethic. Some of these Ugandan children are forced to do a large quantity of hard work every day, even before they go to school. As a result, they come to class late and very exhausted. Finally, when I was a child I remember laughing often and crying little. However, many of these orphaned children cry often and laugh little. The pain and sorrow is seen in their eyes, heard in their voice, and shown on their bodies. This cry for help is clearly communicated, and I cannot help but respond. It is my prayer that God will continue to use all of us to intervene in their situations and rescue many of these children.

Mixed Emotions

2010-06-11T06:58:00.001-07:00

My return to Kyenjojo has been both exciting and overwhelming. I cannot express the joy that filled my heart as I attended my first service in two and a half months at God's Care Church. As I looked at the faces of all of my friends and especially the children heard the familiar voices and African songs, witnessed their exuberant dancing, and felt the strong presence of the Lord, I could not fight back the tears. These tears were tears of jubilation. I was so thankful to be back! As I stood to address the people, my voice choked and the tears again flowed. I did not expect to feel such strong emotions, but I know they came from the deep love inside my heart for these people.

It is truly beautiful to see how God has connected my heart to these people who live so far from where I grew up. It is incomprehensible to me how strongly my heart is drawn to this area. Even the people in the hospital in Kampala expressed their amazement for my love for Kyenjojo. They would say, "You and Kyenjojo. You must really love that place." I do love this area with all of my heart. I truly can say of Kyenjojo, "There is no place like home," because "Home is where the heart is."

On the other hand, I shed tears of sorrow and pain as I looked at many of our children at God's Care Church and was again faced with their numerous needs. Although I have spent one and a half years living in Uganda, I can say that the suffering of the African people and children still astounds me. I really cannot imagine what daily life is like for them or how much pain they endure throughout their lifetimes. When you look at their faces, their clothes, their bodies, and especially their eyes, you can only imagine what they have been forced to endure by no choice of their own. As I have returned to work, the many challenges and needs of the Ugandan children and people are again brought before me. For example, just this week these issues have come up. 1. A 13-year-old girl had to miss school on Monday to go get AIDS medication for her very sick mother. She came requesting transport money so she could travel 9 miles to a nearby village where it was offered for free. 2. The same girl has received counseling to address her question, "What if my mother dies?" She has been advised that she will be the one to care for her four younger brothers and sisters when it happens so she will need to work very hard to grow food for the family. (There are no adults staying with the children other than the sick mother.) 3. A boy of 7 is caned because he hasn't been going to school. When further investigation is done to see why he doesn't want to attend school, it is discovered that the reason is because he is hungry. He said, "The only meal I eat is supper. When I wake up in the morning there is no food, and it is very hard to sit in school all day without eating." At least if I stay home, I can find some little food. (Him and his two brothers age two and five look for small sweet potatoes in their garden or steal some from nearby neighbors' gardens. The mother and grandmother are both gone throughout the day, leaving all of these children to care for themselves.) 3. One of our sponsored childrens' mother's has come to ask for help because she fears her house is going to fall down. (We have many families in this area in the same situation.) 4. An older woman came to our house this morning saying she has been chased from where she was living and has no place to stay.

God continues to break my heart for these people. I have asked God to help me never grow cold or indifferent to their needs. I don't want to get used to hearing or seeing these situations. I want to hurt each time because if I feel no pain, I may not move in compassion and may lose my passion to bring hope to this nation. God continues to answer my prayer, but he does it through various ways. Even during my illnesses in Kampala, I was once again challenged regarding the suffering of others. I look at Uganda through different eyes because of the circumstances I personally had to endure. (Sometimes I wonder if my illnesses are part of my compassion training.) In these eyes, there is some sense of empathy and understanding because I too have had to endure pain and illness. But the sympathy is even greater because I know in the midst of my pain, I at least was given the opportunity to be treated in a hospital and did not have to walk miles to receive this service. I could rest in a bed, not on a hard dirt floor. I could ride in a car to the hospital for delivery, not in a taxi, motorcycle, bicycle, or no vehicle at all.

As I drive or walk on Uganda's bumpy roads and/or wait in numerous traffic jams, I look at the people through unveiled eyes and think about them with a renewed mind and compassionate heart. I once again find myself fighting back the tears and having a renewed urgency to do all I can to alleviate the suffering of others. I may not be able to solve all of the problems of Uganda or give assistance to each needy person, but I am determined to improve the lives of all I can. I have wholeheartedly resolved to commit my life to give new life to others.

The Power of Love

2010-06-04T12:54:00.001-07:00

Here are two stories of love penetrating through communication, as well as other barriers, and making a difference in my life and the lives of others.

1. Pastor Victor and I chose to take in two orphans and begin caring for them from our home. Our hearts had been touched with compassion as we heard about the physical, emotional, and mental abuse they were enduring simply because they were orphans. We felt a special connection to them when we first met and saw great potential in them. We wanted to offer them a better life and future.

When we first took them in, it was especially difficult for me because I could only speak short conversations with them. They also seemed so independent and distant in some ways. It did not seem to matter if they received special love from us or not. When we would come home, they did not even seem to be very excited. Even in the times that I would travel to Kampala for doctor's appointments, they did not seem to miss me. It seemed that all they needed was a safe place to live and food to eat. I tried to remind myself that they were not accustomed to receiving tender love and probably did not know how to respond. I understood that it had to also be difficult for them to communicate to me because of their limited English vocabulary. (Although Pastor Victor had mentioned to me that they were not responsive to him either.)

I continued to pray that God would help these children feel loved in a special way and that the love they received from Pastor Victor and I would change their lives. I decided to do as much as I could to show them love, even if they did not react to it or seem to appreciate it. I would tell them I loved them before they went to bed, and they would laugh. I would tell them I missed them, but they would only smile or cover their faces. I would give them a hug, but they would simply act very shy. I would try to speak what I could to them and show them that I cared, but it did not seem to be making a difference.

Then one night (It was actually the night I returned from Kampala after being admitted in the hospital for the first time.), I saw a glimpse of hope as the boy expressed his heart to me. I had come into the house, but neither of the children greeted me or acted happy to see me. I greeted them, but I was feeling quite sad because it did not seem they missed me even a little bit. Later that night, when the boy and I were sitting in our living room, he looked at me and spoke these words in very clear English. "Thank you for coming back. I love you so much. I kept wondering, 'When is Abooki coming back?' I now feel much joy in my heart." I could not believe my ears. I was so touched I wanted to cry! I realized that I had made some impact on this child's life, and he did care for me. I said a very thankful prayer to God for this special moment and asked that He would send many more like it.

2. Due to health reasons, I have been away from Kyenjojo for over a month. I decided to call one of the ladies in the church just to see how she was doing. When I called her, she sounded very happy to hear from me. We only talked for a couple of minutes, but the joy that filled my heart as I heard her excitement lasted all evening. Then, shortly before I fell asleep I received a message on my phone that brought even greater delight to my heart. It said, "Though I don't visit you a lot, neither talk much to you, I do love you mommy. I miss you, and I pray for you always. Hope to meet you soon. God bless you mommy. (In Uganda, Pastors' wives are considered to be mothers to everyone in the congregation.)"

In this short message love was communicated more vividly to me than other messages or letters with many words. Once again, I find myself learning more about love. I learned… The value of loving others cannot be measured. The method of loving others cannot be clearly defined. It has no method or formula--it has to be a part of you. As love lives inside of you, it is freely expressed outside of you. You embrace others not just with your hands, but with your eyes, your ears, your words, your face, your heart, your actions, and your life. Finally, as you continue to freely give love to others, you find that somehow, somewhere, love is given back to you. May God help us all live a life of love that we may leave permanent footprints on the hearts of others.

Keep Loving No Matter What

2010-05-04T09:41:00.001-07:00

I think one of the most valuable lessons that the Lord has taught me while I have been in Uganda is "to keep loving" no matter what--no matter whether it seems my love is making no difference at all, no matter how I feel, no matter what I think, no matter what I see or hear... It is vital for me to keep pouring out my heart and acting out of love and compassion--no matter if it costs me my pride, my dignity, my comfort, my life…That is what Jesus did for us, and I have realized he expects no less of his followers. His love was not dependent on results. His love was not dependent on the reactions of others. He loved freely and consistently. I need to do the same. His life impacted and still impacts many because of the love that filled his heart; that love is still drawing many today, even though he is no longer physically present. It is our capacity to love that will survive even after we have gone. It is our heart of compassion that leaves a permanent mark on others' lives. It is not our money, our gifts, our words, or our prestige that truly counts in life. It is our ability to love and the measure we administer to others.

As I continue to live in Uganda and ask the Lord to fill me with more love for the people, I cannot say I have always seen immediate results from my actions of love. Nevertheless, I know in my heart that loving others wholeheartedly is changing others and it's changing me. There are challenges to showing love in a nation where genuine love is not easily expressed and can even be seen as a weakness, where mistrust, disloyalty, evil, and selfishness prevail, and where abuse and neglect are looked at as common place occurrences. Yet, I know one of the main reasons God has called me to this nation is to demonstrate and freely express His love to others. He has revealed to me that it is not money, power, or prestige that saves a nation; it is the agape love of Christ. This is what changed the lives of others two thousand years ago and is still changing the world today-when Jesus gave up his life for the sake of love and saved the world forever.

Pray, Be Still, and Let God Act

2010-04-10T15:14:00.001-07:00

Pray, be still, and let God act for truly he is a miraculous God. I have seen this message become a reality in my life and ministry, but I continue to see it be fulfilled in greater magnitude as I continue to follow the Lord in obedience. We have a tendency as Christians to want things to be done in our way and in our time frame. I think that we, as Americans, especially have a difficult time being still. We get so accustomed to the fast pace of life. There are many things we don't have to wait for. There are time schedules that dictate and control our lives. Many times we don't even know how to slow down. If we have to wait for something or if we see things not happening, our first tendency is to worry, panic, or try to do something to make them move.

    Nevertheless, my time of ministry in Uganda (as well as my last year or year in a half in America) has really challenged this somewhat innate tendency of mine. The unbelievable part in all of this is that God has really given me peace to trust his timing and his methods throughout this journey of obedience. When I find myself beginning to walk down the path of fear and worry, the Lord gently reminds me that it is not my timetable, talent, or ability that is necessary for His mission to be fulfilled. He knows exactly what needs done and can make it all happen in just the right time. (I think sometimes he may delay things just to strengthen our faith and trust in Him and His promises—and maybe to remind us who is in control. Just think of how long Abraham had to wait until he saw his biggest miracle!)

    I have found it is important to be faithful and obedient in what God asks of you-to pursue what you can pursue and do all that you can do to see that things move. Yet, truly the most vital work that can be done is to pray and believe. This is one reason I continue to tell all of my supporters and prayer warriors that they play a very big role in this ministry. It is the prayers of all of us that are moving mountains-releasing the power of God and enabling Him to act on our behalf. (Isaiah 64:4 Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.)

    In this last week, I have truly seen many miracles in our ministry and am very excited about the open Heaven that has been released upon us. I rejoice because the prayers of many have been answered, and I know it is only God who has made all of it possible. I pray we all continue to learn the art of waiting, resting, and trusting in God.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him…" Psalm 37:7

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10

"And it will be said in that day, Behold, this is our God for whom we have waited that He might save us. This is the Lord for whom we have waited; Let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation." Isaiah 25:9

The Feet of the Suffering

2010-02-26T13:13:00.000-08:00

One image that I have not been able to erase from my mind this entire week is the feet of one of our orphans who are registered for child sponsorship. I looked at them on Sunday morning before the start of our Children's Church Service, but now-almost a week later-I still see them vividly in my mind. I had called the girl from the group because she appeared as if she wasn't feeling well. When she came up to see me, I glanced down at her feet. They had many open wounds on them, even between her toes. I asked my friend and coworker Peter what had caused them. He told me "jiggers," which are parasitic larvae of mites that enter the skin of humans, animals, etc. The jiggers need to be removed soon after they enter or they continue to lay eggs. As a result of having to dig into the skin, wounds can be created in the places where the jiggers have been cut out. It was obvious that this girl had many jiggers that had entered her feet, but it also appeared like some of her wounds had become infected. I cannot imagine the discomfort she must have been experiencing. I felt pain just looking at her feet.

As I looked at her feet, I thought about how much this little girl must be suffering, and the flame in my heart to relieve the suffering of children once again ignited. I thought about the lack of care she must be receiving, and I prayed "God, please help me to be able to do something for these children. There must be more that I can do. Providing school supplies is not enough..." I thought about her innocence...I thought about her empty childhood... I thought about her sorrow...I know that her guardian(s) may not purposely neglect this little girl. They may just be too old and tired to have the energy to provide the care that is needed. (One of the preventative measures for jiggers invading your house is to pour water on the dirt floor every day or smear cow manure on it.) I have personally visited some of the children's homes and met their guardians. I know that some of them are physically incapable of caring for the children with whom they have been entrusted.

It breaks my heart to think about the life this little girl must be living. Throughout the week I have been contemplating how the physical wounds in her feet also reveal something about the unseen emotional and psychological wounds in her life. I have been thinking about what these orphans and vulnerable children must endure day after day. I have been praying, "God please help me to find a way to improve their living conditions and bring hope in the midst of their suffering."

Please keep praying for me and this ministry at large. There are so many needs around us, but finding and implementing solutions is not simple. It is much easier to see the detrimental effects of the problem than it is to diagnose and solve it. We need the wisdom and strength of the Lord. I know that Jesus is the only solution to Africa's suffering. I am aware that my mission would be unattainable if I were pursuing it on my own,. I am fully determined to follow God and follow His heart so that I might leave an impact on this world. I know that God will help me "change a life" and "change a nation" one day at a time because He has called me here.

"Seeing Uganda Through God's Eyes"

2010-02-25T08:03:00.000-08:00

My Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray that you would please help me to continually see Uganda through your eyes. As time continues to pass, may my heart not grow cold or indifferent to the things I see around me. May I not be overcome with frustration by the people who try to use me or simply look at me as someone who owes them something, but may I look at them with your agape love that loves even when the true intentions of the heart are revealed. When I feel like the outcast, may I not cast out others. When I quickly see the negative, change my attitude to see the positive. When I am only looking in the natural, change my eyes to see what you see in the spiritual. Train my heart, my mind, my soul...

Teach me to place the same value you place on every individual-whether big or small, rich or poor, guilty or innocent, kind or unkind, grateful or ungrateful. Teach me to always consider others as better than myself and focus on their needs instead of my own. May the same love that compelled you to give up your one and only Son to save others, compel me to give up my life and my comforts to improve the lives of others. I pray that my ears and heart would not choose to ignore the loud and silent cries of the suffering, but that I would become more attuned to the cries that you plainly hear and respond in a manner that you would want me to. Give me wisdom to reach a nation and culture that is completely new and unfamiliar to me. Give me the courage to persevere when I am tired, overwhelmed, discouraged, or confused. Give me the grace I need to love, forgive, and serve wherever you lead me. Give me the patience to move at your pace and not mine. Give me the faith to always believe you for the impossible-no matter what the outward circumstances reveal.

I cannot do any of this on my own. My eyes will grow tired of seeing...My ears will grow tired of hearing....My body will grow weary of giving...My heart will grow tired of hurting...

Yet, I know, if you place your heart in mine, I will never grow tired of seeing, hearing, giving, and hurting; instead, I will be ready to face another day pouring out my life as a love offering for others.

Trusting the One who Satisfies

2010-02-19T02:13:00.000-08:00

It is amazing the lessons God teaches us through the simple events of our lives. If I keep my heart tuned into His Spirit, I find the Lord speaking to me in a variety of ways and circumstances. One of these lessons was taught through a little boy whom I took for medical treatment a while ago.

After we had finished at the Medical Clinic, I wanted to take the boy to my home for lunch. I knew that he had to be hungry because he had not eaten anything all morning. This boy did not know how to speak English and our translator had left because he had other engagements. I tried to say what I could to reassure the boy I was going to take him to a safe place. This boy was extremely shy around me when he first met me so I was not sure if he would be willing to come with me. All I could say to the boy was "Come, food.." (I am still trying to learn Lutorro, but I am definitely not anywhere near being fluent.) I then took his hand, and we walked together to my house. As we were walking, God taught me a lesson about faith.

This boy had few experiences with me, and he could not speak freely with me or understand most of my words. He had never been in this area before, and he had no idea where I was taking him; yet, he trusted me to lead him to a place where he would be satisfied. He put His faith in me and made the choice to walk with me. He did not cry or scream. He silently walked with me to the place where I led him. As a result of him putting his trust in me, he received a full meal and became physically satisfied.

At times, the Christian walk can seem very difficult. We don't understand why things have happened or are happening...We don't know where we are heading...The communication between us and God seems to be unclear...However, God wants us to put our wholehearted faith and trust in Him-the only one who truly satisfies. We need to believe that He is leading us in the right direction, and we can come to him to find true satisfaction for our hearts and souls. We need to have quite confidence and trust in the Lord-not kicking, screaming, or complaining about where he is taking us, but completely submitting to His Lordship over our lives and going where He leads us. I know this is much easier said than done. I have moments where I struggle with where it looks like God is taking me or how He is doing it; however, this event with this little boy challenged me all the more to deepen my level of faith and obey the Lord-whether I am walking in blind faith or am seeing. I want to be completely faithful to trust the only one who sincerely satisfies.

Walking into a Miracle

2010-02-14T02:52:00.000-08:00

I was walking in Kampala, and I accidentally stepped on the back of a woman's shoe. I immediately said, "I'm sorry," and the woman said, "It's okay. You can go around me. I'm weak." I walked around her and continued walking, but as I did I her words "I'm weak" kept echoing in my ears and mind." I thought, "She must be sick." I felt a strong tug in my heart that I should go back and ask her if she was sick and if I could pray for her. I was nervous about going back to talk to her, but I knew it was something I had to do. I turned around and looked for her. At first, I couldn't see her, but then I finally spotted her. I quickly walked to where she was and proceeded to talk to her. During our conversation, I found out that she had been in a taxi accident a year ago. Ever since then, her foot had become crippled, and she had to stop working. As she shared her story, she continued to emphasize that God had kept her and her children throughout this difficult time. She really praised the Lord for His faithfulness and told me that she would not have made it if it were not for him. She told me she knew the Lord loved her and that even today he had used me to remind her of that. She had tears in her eyes as she spoke to me, and I felt my heart connect with hers in a powerful way. She told me that she prayed the Lord would bless me with a greater anointing to pray for the sick and bless my family and ministry. Then she continued to thank me for coming back. She told me she was very touched by my actions and that she is even going to consider me as one of her daughters. She told me that she would pray for me faithfully every day and the ministry God has called me to do. We exchanged contact information, and then I walked away.

As I did, my heart was so full. This simple gesture had not produced a physical miracle-I'm still praying for that-, but it had performed a miracle of the heart. I knew that this woman had been deeply touched, and I was also touched. I was blessed in my heart by her words and facial expressions. I knew that God had reached down and touched her today. Not because of who I am or what I did, but because I stopped to listen for the heart of God.

Many times in life we grow busy with our own lives and agendas. We forget to listen for God's heart. We can't feel the Master's "tug" on our heart because our pace of life or personal cares drown it out. I wonder how many opportunities for miracles or blessings we have missed just because we were too busy to listen for the heart of God. I pray that even in the midst of all of my cares and responsibilities, I will always take time to listen for the heart of my Master and follow His leading to those who desperately need His touch, those who need to know that there is a God who sees them and their condition, those He wants to remind of His love and care.

Tears of Sorrow Turned to Tears of Joy

2010-02-09T07:32:00.000-08:00

He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted ... to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Kyenjojo (personal emphasis added). Isaiah 61:1-3

Offering comfort to those who mourn is often not easy, but I thank the Lord I was able to impact the life of one girl and change her tears of sorrow to tears of joy. I wish I could tell her story as clearly and full of emotion as she presented it Sunday morning, but I will try my best to retell it the best I can because I believe it is a story that needs to be told. You are also part of bringing comfort to those who mourn in Kyenjojo.

Rose's life changed dramatically at the age of seven when her father died of AIDS and her mother, also diagnosed with AIDS, was left alone to care for five children. Rose knew that from this moment on everything in her life was about to change. Her heart was filled with extreme pain and hopelessness as she not only had to say good-bye to her father, but also to her dreams of going to school and becoming a teacher some day. There was no way that her mother could provide food for all of the children and pay for school uniforms, supplies, and examination fees.

The pain was just too much for Rose to bear, and many times throughout the day she would find herself shedding tears uncontrollably. She would continue to ask her mother if she could go to school, but her mother could only reply that there was nothing she could do. Rose tried to raise money by selling the crops from their garden. She had calculated how much money she would need to begin school again, but she always found herself short because the money she earned would have to be spent on kerosene, salt, and other needs at home. Her mother was sick and very weak most of the time so she also had to care for her younger brothers and sisters.

One day, a woman came to ask Rose if she would come and work for her as a house girl and caretaker of her children. However, when Rose saw what the woman was willing to pay she knew it would not be enough to support her family. She also did not want to give up her dream of going to school. A few weeks passed and Rose had almost lost all hope of going back to school when a teacher from her school came to visit her. He had a muzungu (white) lady with him. Rose could not believe her eyes and could hardly contain her excitement! She never imagined that a muzungu would come to visit her. She thought in her mind, "Who am I to have a muzungu come to my house?". Nevertheless, the muzungu had not only come to visit her, but also to bring her all of the school supplies she needed to begin school. Her dream of going to school was actually going to happen! She was overwhelmed with such joy that she could not help but shed tears of happiness. Rose knew in her heart that from this day on her life was going to improve for the better. To this day, Rose has never forgotten the day the muzungu came and continues to thank God for the miracle that He brought into her life.

Healing Body, Heart, and Soul One Person at a Time

2010-01-27T09:19:00.000-08:00

Over the past two months, I have had various opportunities to show the love of Jesus through providing medical treatment for the sick. In the US, I think we take medical care for granted sometimes, but my eyes have really been opened up to see that medical care is a precious gift for the people of Uganda-one that is not easily given. God's heart has surely directed me to the lonely, the sick, and the suffering, and I cannot help but respond to their cry for help. I know that I will never be a Medical Doctor, but in my heart I will always have a special place for the sick. I also believe that one day I will not only be paying for and/or providing medical services, but also I will be praying for and witnessing miraculous healings.

Here are just two stories of these precious people I have been able to touch by providing medical treatment.

$4 US Dollars Saves a Life
Early one morning a young girl about the age of eleven appeared at our church. (We had been praying all night so many people had spent the night there.) She asked for the Pastor and said that the matter was extremely urgent. She had walked for miles to tell us that her mother was very sick at home and had not been able to eat for days and could drink very little. You could see the worry and concern in this young girl's face, and we were all aware that the mother was the sole caregiver for her five children. (This family was enrolled in our Sponsorship Program; therefore, we knew all of their background.) We reassured the girl that we would come and take the mother to the clinic and pay the medical treatment costs. Pastor Victor and Peter took the motorcycle to collect the woman and bring her to the town for treatment. We found out that the woman had many sores in her throat, which was making it very difficult for her to swallow. After receiving the proper medication to treat her illness (a total cost of $4), we said a prayer for her and then took her home.

Two weeks later, the woman visited our church and stood up to testify that she had been completely healed. She tearfully recounted her story and gave all the glory and honor to the Lord. She said that as a result of the Lord healing her life she made the choice to get saved. She ended her testimony by thanking us for our assistance. The gratitude on her face warmed my heart more than I will ever be able to describe and again reminded me of why God has sent me to Uganda. In addition, this incident sincerely left a lasting impression on me because I could not stop thinking about the fact that this woman could have died because she did not have $4 to pay for medical treatment. I thought about how many people were just like her, but never had anyone to help them pay less than $5 for medical care and died as a result. I thank God that this woman's life was saved, but I pray for God to continue to give us opportunities to bring life and hope to others.

Blessing Jesus Through a Small Child
I was sitting in my house writing some letters when I heard the voices of children outside. I got up to see who was out there, but before I could reach the door a small girl, about the age of 3, came walking toward me desperately crying out, "Abooki food". I took her quickly in my arms because I could see from how she was walking and talking that she was quite sick. When I brought her near I felt her body burning up and could hear that her breathing was very shallow. Her little brother entered the house and told me that his sister was very sick. (These children often come to my house for food because they live very near my home. They are always poorly dressed and extremely dirty. Their mother does not seem to mind about their well being. In fact, she just goes around the town begging for food and money.)

I told the boy that we were going to go to the clinic and I picked up the little girl and carried her to the nearby medical clinic in town. They began to ask me how long she had been sick and where her mother was. I informed them that I did not know how long she had been sick because she had just come with her little brother to my house today. I told them I also could not tell where the mother was because these children often wandered around alone. They took the girl's temperature and told me her fever was very high. Then they proceeded to take her blood. This process was very difficult for me because, of course, the little girl was in pain. I held her tightly in my arms to comfort her and prayed for her to have peace. She quickly stopped crying and even said "Bye" to the nurse who took her blood.

We then waited for her results. The doctor retook her temperature when she came to see her. It had risen two degrees in that short time. The doctor informed me that the difficulty in breathing was caused by the high fever. She then said that the blood test revealed the girl had severe malaria, and they would need to give her an injection and a number of tablets for treatment. I told the doctor I would keep the medication and administer it three times a day because I knew that the mother would not take the responsibility to do it.

For the next five days, I administered the tablets three times a day to that little girl. It did not take a big sacrifice on my part to complete this task, but I knew in my heart that each time I gave that little girl her medication I was ministering to Jesus. In my mind, I considered this act to be very small--After all, I only paid $7 for her medication and was just handing her tablets to swallow and food to eat--yet, in my spirit, I strongly felt the Lord's pleasure in my actions.

Always remember that although our little acts of kindness may seem very small in our human eyes, they bring great delight to the heart of God and are magnified in His kingdom. Never stop blessing others with simple acts of kindness! Those who have made the strongest impact on others and have changed their society for the better did not do one great big task; instead, they consistently did small acts of love and service. These simple acts of kindness are what change the world!

Being Thankful on my First Thanksgiving Away From Home

2009-11-26T13:27:00.000-08:00

I'm going to be honest--today was quite a difficult day for me. I did not expect to be so affected by being away from home for this holiday, but from the moment I woke up today I had an huge ache in my heart. This is the first major holiday that I have spent away from home, and I definitely missed being with my family and celebrating this day. As a result of my heart and soul being overwhelmed, I sought to find comfort in my Lord and master. I read through many Psalms and prayed to the Lord about the heaviness of my heart. One of the Psalms I was reading was talking about the Lord being the only feast the Psalm writer wanted. I was praying "Lord, please help me to remember that you and following your will is much more important than any Thanksgiving feast I might share with my family. Help me to desire you more than anything. May you always be what I long for most. May I find satisfaction in only you."

One of the beautiful things about being in a country so far from home and living solely among people from a different culture is that you are constantly being forced to draw your strength and encouragement from the Lord. I do not expect any of the people here to understand how I am feeling on this Thanksgiving Day. (Many of them do not even have their parents to celebrate a holiday with, and most of them have never even celebrated Christmas.) I know that I am living in a whole different world than I am accustomed to. More importantly, I realize that Jesus is the only one who truly understands the adjustments I am facing and the feelings that sometimes overwhelm me. I am very thankful that He is with me and that I can find rest, peace, and hope in Him. I know that I have to keep my eyes on Him, and He will sustain me through it all. I am confident He will never fail me.

Another thing that brought me comfort on this day was contemplating how many things I have to be thankful for-even in the midst of my loneliness. When you see and evaluate the neediness of others, it always puts your life in perspective. I am very thankful that I even have a loving family to miss, and I'm extremely thankful I have both of my parents alive. I have been visiting many children in the past month who have no parents living because they both died of AIDS when the children were young. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have neither one of my parents alive to raise me. I know that there has to be a large ache in these children's hearts because they either spent very few or no precious moments with their parents. I am thankful that I have been given the opportunity to celebrate the holidays with my family over the years and build beautiful memories on those days, which I can now look back and reflect on. There are many children who are never given, nor will ever be given, the opportunity to celebrate a holiday and enjoy its festivities. I am thankful that I have shared an abundance of food on Thanksgiving Day throughout the years. I realize that for many people in Uganda having an abundance of food is an impossibility. Their prayer is to have enough food to feed their family for one day. Finally, I am truly thankful that I have been given the opportunity to serve others in Africa. I know that God has sent me here, and I count myself as truly privileged to give up my comforts to improve the lives of others. I know that my life will never be the same because I have moved to Africa, but it is my prayer that the lives of many African children and people will also never be the same because I have moved to Africa. I believe that their lives will be made better because I have come to minister the love, hope, and compassion of Jesus to them.

I know that the periods of loneliness and homesickness will come and go, but I am truly grateful that the promises of the Lord will always remain true, steadfast, and unfailing. I am thankful that everything God purposes to do in me and through me will come to pass, and I am thankful that hope will be brought to Kyenjojo.

Many Times Their Pain Is Unbearable

2009-10-20T07:30:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday at church I had an experience that broke my heart, but opened up my eyes even further to see the pain that the orphans face and have to endure. I have realized that any pain I experience is nothing in comparison to what they experience and have experienced.

When it was time for testimonies, an elderly woman who was a first time visitor came forward and began to mention her gratitude toward the Pastor (Pastor Victor) and his wife (me) who showed care and concern for her orphaned grandchildren. The grandmother went on to mention that we had brought school supplies, blankets, and other items, as well as visited her and her grandchildren at their home.

She called the boys to come and stand before the congregation. The boys were both shy, but one of them finally came forward-the youngest one. I recognized him right away. (He was a boy whom we had visited a few times, but every time I saw him and his living conditions, my heart was grieved. I remember looking at him and feeling such compassion. The sorrow that was communicated through his eyes and his face definitely gripped me. He was extremely malnourished and looked destitute and helpless. He looked to be about age 6 or 7, but was actually age 10.)

When this boy came forward, his grandmother began to share his story about how both of his parents had died before he was one year old. The moment she began to speak, the boy began to shed many tears. He tried to stop them, but they continued to flow uncontrollably. I also began to weep as I saw the agony of this child. Pastor Victor called him to sit beside him while his grandmother finished speaking.

His grandmother continued thanking us and then went back to her seat. The boy remained sitting next to Pastor Victor and I. I gave him a hug and told him I loved him, but these gestures seemed so insignificant and almost useless. I knew they could not erase the pain in his heart, and I deeply wished there was something more that I could do to comfort this little boy. The boy continued to weep throughout the entire service. He would try to stop the tears, but I could see that this was an impossible task for him. The pain was just too unbearable.

This is the first time since I have been in Uganda that I have seen an orphan express such sorrow. It really had a powerful effect on me. In fact, I could not get that child's face out of my mind for the rest of that day and even had difficulty sleeping. I could not stop thinking about the many children who share similar stories and deal with similar pain. I kept thinking I have to find them and rescue them. I have to give them hope.

I know that there are many out there just like this boy. Their hearts are breaking, and they often shed tears-whether seen or unseen by humans. They live in pain every day and long for their parents to be alive. Many of them wish that they would have been given the opportunity to meet their parents and know what they were like. Pastor Victor told me that he has seen many orphans shed tears as their stories are retold to others and that I will continue to see this as I spend more time in Uganda and work with orphans.

Even though this may have been my first experience to see this deep inner pain of an AID's orphan expressed outwardly, I know that it is not God's first time. He has seen and continues to see the cries of these children-both the cries of their eyes and the cries of their hearts. He has sent me and you to be the answer to these cries. May we be faithful to this call. May we not lose heart, grow tired or weary, or shrink back, but may we continue to do all that is in our power to deliver the helpless, to bring comfort to the hurting, and to give love to the forsaken. I promise to do my part, will you now do yours?

Sometimes the Pain is Unbearable

2009-10-13T05:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes seeing the pain of the suffering is unbearable. I think, "How can I look at one more child that is hurting and not be hurt to the point of no return? ". I wonder, "How much more can I keep seeing and not have my heart be broken into unrepairable pieces?". Sometimes I wonder, "How much more sorrow can I see and still be able to continue on in happiness?". Yet, actually I thank God that I see the suffering of others, and it hurts. I know that at times God sends the suffering to me to continually remind me of why I am here-of what my mission is. (Just as when Jesus looked at the suffering in the crowds, I'm sure that He was reminded of what His mission on earth was. He was reminded of why God sent him to this earth- to bring hope and life to others, to relieve their suffering.) His heart was continually moved with compassion as he saw the lost and hopeless, the sick and dying, and the lonely and rejected. This compassion gave him a passion to fulfill the destiny for which he was created-to give his life for the sake of making life better for others.

This is also why I know I have been sent to Uganda. I am here to relieve the suffering of others, especially the children, and give them love and hope. My heart is deeply moved as I see children who are sick, impoverished, malnourished, lonely, sad, and abandoned. As a result, my heart is stirred to do something about their condition. I am filled with an even greater passion to pursue the destiny the Lord has created for me.

As I stepped out of my house today and found some of the children who gather at my house, I prayed for God to make a way for these children to be rescued. As the cry of one of these children pierced my ears, it also pierced my heart. When I held this sick and very malnourished child in my arms, I cried out in desperation for God to enable me to rescue many children just like this child. I know I have to be patient for the Lord to fulfill his visions and dreams for me, but I definitely am more than determined to keep persevering and find a way to create a better life for these children. As I pursue this destiny and am obedient to the Lord's voice, I know that He will give me the grace and the strength to both accept the joys and the sorrows of the calling He has purposed for my life. I will keep focused-not only on the one child that I have impacted, but more importantly on the face of my master, and I will make it, even through the pain.

Medical Clinic Progress

2009-09-30T05:48:00.000-07:00

As I visit the Children's Land and view the new structure that is there, I am utterly amazed by God's goodness. In the last nine months, I have truly watched God work in miraculous ways. In February, when I first came to live in Kyenjojo, I could have never imagined what this year had in store. I will never forget the joy that I felt when I first stepped on the Children's Land on February 16th, but I never anticipated that construction for a medical facility would begin in 5 months.

I remember the many prayers that I prayed as I walked around the land, but when I was uttering those prayers I never pictured how quickly they would be answered. It was definitely a testimony of God's faithfulness and provision. When one of the nieghbors to our land saw the construction beginning, he said "Do you remember those days you fervently prayed? God surely heard your cry and has answered." I am thankful that the peopleof Kyenjojo can visibly see that God is a God who sees and answers prayer. I am extremly thankful that another message which has been communicated loudly and clearly is that God and His people love the people of Kyenjojo District and are concerned about their condition and quality of life. We are already receiving many words of gratitude from the people in the area. This medical facility has ministered and will continue to minister to the community for years to come.

Each month that has passed since the dedication of the medical building has created more excitement in my heart. Every time I visit the land, I see more progress made. The construction workers have been dilligently working to see this project completed. In fact, this project has provided jobs for many people in the community. Many of the people in Kyenjojo have thanked us for giving them jobs so that they do not sit and drink and take drugs all day. They are even begging us to continue construction so they will continue to have jobs.

Now, as we are approaching five months after the dedication of the Medical Clinic, we are also approaching completion of the first building on the Children's Land. The workers are adding the roofing and will soon be doing the finishing touches on the walls and constructing the floors. I cannot wait to see how God continues to work and use this facilit,y as well as many others, for his glory and honor. Please keep praying for the work on this Children's Land, and don't forget to rejoice in the Lord's goodness and thank Him for His blessings. Your prayers are making a tremendous difference in the Kingdom of God and are moving mountains in Kyenjojo!

As you view these pictures, you will see how the construction process progressed. Glory be to God!

I Gave My Lunch Away Today

2009-09-30T04:52:00.001-07:00

Many of us can't imagine eating only one meal a day-not even snacks in between. Nevertheless, this is the normal routine for many people in Uganda. I still have many moments where my heart breaks for the suffering, and I just can't imagine what it would be like to live the way that some of these people live. I've always said that in the US we take so many things for granted. For example, running water and clean drinking water are two things I think those of us in America don't appreciate enough. In Kyenjojo, it is a true struggle to have both of these necessities. I have had many days where I have struggled to find good water or have not had water to wash my clothes or mop my floor. Although the town does have water taps in some places throughout the town, you have to pay to use that water source and the water quickly runs dry or is just not there some days. In addition, I can never drink the water that I receive either from the tap or the well.

In America, it may be easier to forget the struggles the people face here, but I personally have some continual reminders of the neediness of this area, and in some ways I am bombarded by it-even in my own home. Since I have returned to Kyenjojo, I have had visitors at my door or window crying out my petty name "Abooki". They always come for something, such as food, soap, lotion, money, etc. They are very persistent. In fact, many of them will stay around my house all day, and they may even come early in the morning or late at night. The neighbors have complained about these children and people, threatening to cane (beat) them. They want these children and people to stop disturbing me. They tell Victor, "She can't even understand what they are saying. She just laughs, and they keep disturbing her." It is true that I cannot understand most of their words. I try to get what I can, but mostly I am unable to understand what they are asking or telling me. I cannot wait until I can fully understand the language!!!

It makes my heart so sad that these children are not going to school and that no one is caring for them. I just cannot imagine what it would be like to experience the childhood that these children face. Their parents are not minding whether they go to school or where they are. These chidren are just wondering around themselves, and many of them are very young.

Two days ago when I had just finished preparing my lunch and had sat down to eat, I heard their familiar voices. I was so moved in my heart that I thought "I cannot eat this lunch and not give them any." The problem was that there were many of them, and I had only prepared a small amount for myself. Unfortunately, I did not see the Mircale of the Five Thousand, and there was no multiplication. As a result, I ended up giving away almost all of the lunch I had prepared. (I had taken a couple of bites before they appeared, but after they came there was no more left for me.)

I have to say that the delight in my heart as I watched them eat erased my feelings of hunger, and I was glad that I had given them my lunch. I also knew that I would easily be able to get food for supper, but I could not confidently say this about these children. The only challenge I face here with food is that cooking meals takes hours becuase I only have a charcoal stove!

Every time I am given the opportunity to give to others, I always experience joy in my heart, and I am quickly reminded of the principle of the Bible that says, "It is more blessed to give than receive." I am confident that if more of us would live our lives according to Biblical principles such as these, we would experience a deeper sense of satisfaction in our daily lives. I know that Kingdom philosphy appears to be backwards, but in the end, it is the most rewarding!

My Miracle and Love of My Life

2009-09-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

I was quite busy in the month of August with my wedding and honeymoon plans. I wed Pastor Victor Sande on August 15. Our wedding was a glorious and beautiful day, and I loved having an African wedding! In Uganda, weddings are a very big deal. They are truly a great celebration, and my wedding day could not have been more celebratory. Many people were smiling, laughing, and enjoying themselves. There was much joy and happiness in the air. We had almost 400 people in attendance! I praise the Lord for displaying his glory and presence on that day. Even nonbelievers were saying they could see God on that day. This delighted my heart more than anything! It is my deep desire that everything I do bring glory and honor to the Lord. I want his presence to always be displayed in my life no matter what event is taking place.

I count it as a tremendous miracle to have such a God fearing, unselfish, loving, and humble man as my husband. He truly makes me a better person and brings so much joy and strength to my life. I am thankful to have found someone who is as passionate about pursuing God and honoring Him as I am. I am also very thankful to have found a man who has very similar goals and visions as I do. I am confident that Victor and I will bring much hope and love to the people and children of Uganda. I was willing to serve God alone in Africa, but it is an added blessing to have a Godly man to serve the Lord alongside me.

God brought Pastor Victor into my life two years ago when I was volunteering at a local orphanage. We were both at this orphanage to gain more experience and knowledge to pursue our vision of helping the orphans of Uganda. After I left Uganda, we continued to communicate with each other and pray about the direction God was taking us. It was both of our desires to wholeheartedly pursue the will of God for our lives and be obedient to His voice. God continued to reveal to both of us that He had great plans in store for our lives and ministry together.

In the short time I have known Pastor Victor, I have been blessed in so many ways. He has not only been an incredible friend, mentor, and inspiration to me, but has also been very instrumental in helping my vision to become a reality. I would not be where I am today, or who I am today, without his influence and contribution to my life. I thank the Lord for bringing such a precious gift into my life. I will always consider him as my miracle and love of my life.

Will You Dream for Me?

2009-07-30T15:56:00.000-07:00

I was sitting on my bed conversing with a Ugandan friend I just recently met. She is a student at one of the biggest universities in Uganda. She was sharing with me about her dreams for the future and telling me she hopes to work in a bank some day. As I was listening to her talk and heard the enthusiasm in her voice, my mind was quickly reminded of the many children I have seen in Kyenjojo who are not getting a quality education-if any education- and will not even finish the early stages of secondary school (high school). I was thinking about all of those children who wake up everyday just barely existing. Most of these children have no dreams for today; therefore, dreams for the future are out of the question. In these children, the hope of obtaining a better life has disappeared like the morning mist.

I was thinking about how they probably don't even know how to dream anymore-if they every did know how. I concluded that these precious children desperately need someone who will dream for them and will inspire them to dream dreams for themselves. Hope inspires vision, but without hope there is no vision. I am thankful God has brought me to this area to give these children hope and inspire vision in them. I am thankful God has sent me from my comfortable life in America to encourage these children that there is a better life awaiting them. I know I am here to speak Jeremiah 29:11 over their lives. (For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to give you a hope and a future, plans to prosper you and not to harm you.) Finally, I am thankful God placed a dream in my heart so I can place a dream in others' hearts.

The Face of Injustice

2009-07-27T10:52:00.000-07:00

I don't think I will ever become immune to the sight of suffering, and I cannot turn away from the face of injustice as it bitterly stares at me. My heart breaks as I see it so rampant in Uganda, and especially now in the capital city of Uganda-Kampala. (I have been spending the last few weeks here because of wedding preparations.). Today I even felt some anger as I saw a child subjected to beg for money by her father's choice. I was walking down the crowded streets when I saw a father placing his young crippled girl (I'm guessing maybe 6) on the street to beg for money. I could see the deformities on her body, both her arms and legs were folded and parts of her limbs were missing.

This is not the first time I have seen the crippled sitting on the streets begging for money. A day never goes by in Kampala that you do not see the crippled, as well as children-including very small children, sitting on the streets with their frail hands held out to receive even a small coin. It breaks my heart to think that so many of these children are placed here by their parents or relatives to earn money for the family. I was speaking with a fellow Ugandan about this situation, and she was telling me that many of the children have homes where they sleep at night. She was saying that the way the mothers get money to provide for their family is by placing their children on the streets from morning to evening to beg for coins.

I get overwhelmed when I think about the life these children are forced to live. They will never experience the joy of childhood, and their opportunities for a future are so limited. I wonder in my human mind, "How could you subject your own child to such a life?", but before I begin to criticize I stop to think about what poverty can drive someone to do. I know that I will never understand what these people are experiencing and have experienced, but one thing I do know is that I am going to be an advocate for justice and fairness. I am going to plead for the child's rights no matter what situation the parents may find themselves in. I am going to be zealous to see that many children are given a better future. I will not turn my face away-as many are tempted to do-because the task seems impossible. I will impact this nation and bring hope to others.

Living in Uganda as a “Muzungu”

2009-07-21T14:45:00.001-07:00

I love Uganda with all of my heart, and I am very thankful to be here. Yet, I still think it would have been so much easier if God would have made me black instead of white. Every month I find new challenges with “Living in Uganda as a Muzungu.” I find it interesting-The people here want to be white like me, but I want to be black like them. I sometimes wonder, “Do people really know all that is entailed with having white skin?” I know they think bazungu (more than one white) have everything, but I am finding out that white skin can be a deterrent and not a blessing. I have spent the last week trying to prepare for my wedding on August 15. I could never have guessed how difficult it might be to find and purchase all of the necessary items I would need as a “bride to be” in a country that is not my own, but my wakeup call came even the first day. As I traveled from shop to shop, every retailer automatically raised the prices on every item, and I had to go through quite the effort just to get them to bring it down to a reasonable price. I tried to explain to some of them that I am not a “rich Muzungu,” but I don’t think they believed me. (Although in the spiritual, I am a very rich Muzungu!) I am already uncomfortable with the bartering process, but it really makes it difficult when you cannot trust the people you are bartering with. I thank God I had a Ugandan friend with me who could help me through this challenging experience.

Many times I wish I could be treated like any other Ugandan. I wish people could see me for who I am on the inside and not for my skin color on the outside. It is sometimes difficult for me because everyone is looking to me as someone who has everything and is able to solve all of their problems. There are times I get overwhelmed when I consider I have limited resources and will be unable to offer assistance to all, but I then consider Jesus and how he faced similar pressure. Everyone was looking to him as their Messiah. They expected him to rescue them from their oppression and become their mighty king. Even the disciples were bitterly disappointed when Jesus died because they thought their hero had failed. Yet, their eyes were only directed on what they were seeing in the physical and not on the eternal promises Jesus had spoken to them and the words of God they had read in the scriptures.

I am thankful that Jesus’ death on the cross opened up a doorway of hope. I am thankful that because of the price Jesus paid, I now have hope to carry to the people of Uganda. When I have no job to offer the unemployed, I can always offer them the opportunity to serve the Lord. When I cannot solve their problems, I can lead them to the one who will sustain them through each and every problem. When I have no medicine to give to the sick, I can offer the gift of prayer and healing. When I cannot bring changes to their lives, I can offer the new life Jesus’ can bring. When I run out of money, I will always have the treasure of Jesus to give. When I have nothing else to offer, I always have the gift of love.

I ended my frustrating day today stopping for a man who had been in a motorcycle accident and was now crippled. I looked into his eyes and greeted him, and as our eyes met his whole face lit up. I asked him if I could say a prayer for him, and then I gave him a small coin. As I walked away from that man, I again thanked God for the opportunity to minister in Uganda and prayed for the Lord to make me a blessing to many. It may be challenging to live in Uganda as a Muzungu, but God continues to show me that there is a reason why he sent this muzungu to Africa. My only prayer is that I fulfill every purpose God had for sending me here.

Responding to God's Heart

2009-07-14T13:11:00.000-07:00

I have realized that my presence in Uganda is mainly responding to God's heart for the children and people of Kyenjojo, Uganda. He asked me to "Go" because their cry reached his ears and his heart, and, now that I have lived here, their cries have become even louder in my own ears and heart. I know God had such a deep love and compassion for these people that he could not let them continue to suffer without sending someone to help relieve their pain. I am humbled God has sent someone like me, but I am fully confident He has called me here.
I sometimes am tempted to think that God should have sent someone more adequate or equipped for such a large task, but God quickly reminds me that all he requires of us, as ministers of the Gospel, is to hear his heartbeat and respond to that heartbeat. He looks for those who are willing to be "His" hands and feet"-not their own hands and feet. We will never be fully prepared or adequate for acts of service, but all of us-no matter what phase of life we are in-can be an expression of God's love. The more we step out of the way-the more God's love can be released in and through our lives and actions.
At times, especially when I am facing a number of emotions and adjustments, I think it would have been easier for me to be in my own country ministering the love of Jesus to others there. Yet, I am quickly reminded of my purpose for being in this nation, and all of the fear and doubt quickly disappear. God took me out of my comfort zone that I might bring comfort to others. He called me to live on a new side of the world that I might create a better world for others. He placed a burden on my heart for the Ugandan children that I might ease the burdens they are forced to carry. He chose to have me live far away from those I love in order to show those in Uganda that there is someone who truly loves them. He called me to seasons of loneliness that I might reach out to those who are lonely and introduce them to a friend who will never fail them. He called me to moments of weakness that I might help others rise up and become strong. He called me to humble myself lower so that others might be lifted higher. He called me to periods of hardship that I might make life easier for others,
For the rest of my days here on earth, I am committed to following God's heart and seeking to acheive all that He has called me to. Please continue to pray for me as I seek to fulfill this commitment with all of my heart.
Finally, thank you for also responding to God's Heart. We are all in this together and will bring hope, change, and transformation to Kyenjojo!

I Held a Child Today

2009-07-10T08:17:00.000-07:00

Such a simple action does not sound too memorable, yet in that brief moment of my day, it seemed like my whole world stopped and my heart expanded. I was washing my clothes by hand (one of my routine African chores), when two small children appeared before me. They stared at me-as most children (and adults) do when they see a Muzungu, but continued to remain near me. After giving them a little bit of time to adjust to my skin color, I walked over to one of the girls and picked her up. The moment I held her in my arms, she clasped her arms around me and held me very tightly. I returned her tight squeeze for a few moments. Then we looked into each others eyes, and I kissed her forehead. I wil never forget the smile that radiated from her face.
I will always remember how I felt during those precious moments of our embrace. I felt a beautiful exchange of love, but I also felt a desperation for love in that young girls intense embrace. It was as though this little girl had been waiting for days, months, or even years for someone to show her love-for someone to give her attention. Once again, I was quickly reminded why God has sent me here. There are many children just like this little girl who need to feel loved and valued. Each one of them need to be held in a loving embrace. I pray that God sends me many more children like this little girl today, whom I can hold and love. Today was not even a day that I had intended to devote to "ministry," but God had different plans for both me and that little girl:)

Gratitude Beyond Words

2009-07-03T07:40:00.000-07:00

I often find myself using the phrase "I wish I had words to express my gratitude," but I truly have many moments where the words "Thank You"are just not enough to portray the appreciation of my heart.

As the month of July begins, I again find myself speechless because of the deep gratitude that I feel in my heart. I have a vast number of things to be grateful for, but I will list only some of them for the sake of length. (I am going to try to begin shortening my blogs, as well as blogging on a more regular basis. There has been a solution to my computer problems; therefore, I should be able to use my computer more frequently.)

First, I am deeply grateful to God that I am alive today. As many of you know, I was extremely ill for an extended period of time, including being bedridden for two weeks. I was diagnosed with two serious African illnesses, one being Malaria. I have never experienced illness to the extent that I reached during the months of May and June, but I praise the Lord I am now healed and am on my way to total recovery. I am also thankful for all of the prayers that were offered on my behalf. I know that they are the reason I am alive today!

Secondly, I am thankful for the American team that came and ministered to the people of Kyenjojo. It was truly a dream come true for me. On one particular day as I was sitting down eating lunch at the medical team area, I became overcome with emotion as I witnessed all that was taking place. I felt inexpressible joy as I watched people receiving both physical and spiritual treatment. I thought to myself, "The message of God's love is surely being sent out to this community."

I am confident that many of the Ugandans who interacted with the American team will never forget that interaction. It will be permantely engraved in their hearts. Even if all of their poverty and suffering is not removed, they will always be thankful for the "muzungu" who was willing to fly the whole way across the ocean to show them that there is a God in Heaven who sees them and loves them. I praise God for this blessing! It is definitely the desire of my heart to see God's love touching many-all around the world.

Thirdly, I want to thank God for all of you, and thank you personally. It is truly a beautiful thing to see how God is using all of us together to fulfill his vision for Kyenjojo. I am very aware that I could not accomplish these tasks on my own and am deeply humbled as I continue to find people who are willing to partner with me. You bless and encourage me. You give me courage and strength. You are the wind beneath my wings. Your prayers are moving mountains and opening up the Heavens! God is using you to make a difference in my life and the lives of many others in Uganda. May you be richly blessed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Small Beginnings

2009-05-05T04:09:00.000-07:00

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zechariah’s hand.” Zechariah 4:10

When seeking to implement a large vision, it can sometimes be disheartening to take small steps or see only small beginnings. However, this verse has brought such encouragement to my heart because it gives the Lord’s perspective on the work, not our perspective. The Lord rejoices to see those small beginnings because it is a beginning. When we take those small steps and make those small beginnings, we are showing Him that we believe in him enough to take a step forward. We are saying, “I believe you are able to make this vision come to pass; therefore, I am more than willing to begin.” When we make the choice to begin the work, we are not looking at what we see today, but we are looking at what we see in future years. What has kept me in Uganda for these three month is not what I have seen on the ground or in the physical, but what I have seen in the spiritual. It may not appear that much work has been accomplished, and sometimes I am tempted to ask myself what major contributions have I made during this time. But then I call to mind this verse, and I continue to encourage myself that the work has begun. (I even put my own name in place of Zechariah’s name.) The plumb line was a very important step in the construction process. It may appear to be something very small and insignificant, but it lays the foundation for a strong structure. I know that important foundations are being laid for the Children’s Village. I know God is at work in Kyenjojo, and I know He is rejoicing because small beginnings are being made for the Children’s Village. I am thankful to be serving the Lord here, and I am fully trusting in Him to enable me to accomplish the task for which I was created and pursue the calling the Lord has given me.

We sometimes may be tempted to ask the Lord “Why are things not happening at a quicker pace? Am I doing something wrong? Are you hearing the prayers of your people? Do you not see the needs of the people around me?” I must be honest that I am very eager to have structures and children on the Children’s Village. I see the suffering children around me, and I desperately want to help them. I want to do much to help the needy of this area. Nevertheless, I am learning there is a time and season for everything, and a process for things to happen. (In Africa, this process may take a little longer than what I am accustomed to) I am continuing to learn to have complete faith and confidence in the promises of the Lord and in His character. It says in Zechariah 2:13, “Be silent before the Lord, all humanity, for he is springing into action from his holy dwelling.” I am learning to be silent and thankful before the Lord for the small beginnings and continue to focus on the big results that I see in the future. I am challenged to look with my eyes of faith and keep moving forward-to rejoice at the small beginnings (which are really BIG beginnings in the eyes of God) and see that greater things are on the way!

Becoming One of Them

2009-03-09T14:34:00.002-07:00

One month has now passed since I stepped off the plane in my new home-Uganda. I have had quite an eventful month as I seek to learn more about the culture and people and see Uganda through the eyes of Jesus.

The main focus of my time has been on learning the language and learning what it is like to be an African woman. I have continued to practice preparing food and cooking on a charcoal stove, as well as doing the regular African chores such as washing my clothes by hand. My weak muscles are being stretched, but are growing stronger every day. This is definitely a time of growth and new discoveries for me. I always say that the more time I spend in Africa-the more that I find I still have so much to learn about Africa. It is definitely an exciting adventure learning to live in and adjust to a new culture. I praise God that he continues to help me and give me favor with the Ugandan people. I am very thankful for the love for the Ugandan people that God has placed in my heart. I truly do feel connected with them in a number of ways.

I have always felt that integrating myself into the culture is a very important component of my ministry. I believe that I must seek to relate in some small way to the lifestyle of the African people in order to display the true love and compassion of Jesus for these people. I wholeheartedly agree with Paul when he spoke in I Corinthians 9:9:19-23 about becoming all things to all men so that he might save some.

In the same way, before Jesus saved the world, he came down to this earth and lived and walked among us. Though he was God, he came down and subjected himself to the constraints of humanity. He faced the challenges, emotions, and experiences that accompany living in this fallen world. He would not have had to experience all of this, but he made the choice to become like one of us. As a result, he can now sympathize with our pain and suffering, and his example gives us courage to overcome the challenges we face. I love the passage in Hebrews 4:14-16 that talks about us having a high priest who can sympathize with our weaknesses.

It is very difficult to bridge the gap between a muzungu (white person) and an African. Many of the Africans already have preconceived ideas about bazungu (white people), and of course, there is always the obvious color difference. (I always stick out wherever I go.) Nevertheless, I believe that God can help me bridge the gap that is there. I believe that God can continue to help me to understand and relate to the people, but I also believe that I need to be responsible to do my part. I believe that this process of integrating myself into the culture encompasses sharing in some of the activities and responsibilities of the African people. As I continue to be taught how to cook food by my African woman mentor, I learn more about the culture and people because we talk as we prepare food. As I share in the cooking and cleaning responsibilities, I learn more about the workload of most African women. As I seek to learn the language, I connect with the people in a personal way and show them that I care about them and their culture.

In addition, I have had opportunities in the last month to do what I love most when I am in Africa-show the love and compassion of Jesus to others. I have been able to reach out in love to those who are hurting and living in despair. I have had the opportunity to hold suffering children in my arms and embrace them with the unconditional love of Jesus. I have been given the honor of being Jesus’ feet and hands so that others may know there is a Father in Heaven who sees the needs of his children and cares desperately for them.

I will quickly share one of these divine appointments with you. One day as I was walking along the streets of Kampala I found a woman and her baby lying on the side of the street. I stopped the moment I saw them and knelt beside them. I began to greet them with the typical Lugandan words, and then I asked the woman if her child was sick. She told me they were both very sick, but had no money to go for treatment. She told me they had been sitting in this same place for two days and that she had been praying that someone would come and help her and her child. Yet, no one had stopped until I came. I prayed for the woman and her child, and then I just held the child in my arms for some time. This child was so malnourished that it looked to be about 5 or 6 months old, but she was actually two years old. As I talked with the mother, I discovered that she was a twin, but her twin sister had already died. As I looked into the eyes and face of this child, my heart broke. I saw such distress and hopelessness. As I held her in my arms, I again was touched beyond words with a deep, compelling compassion to do something to rescue suffering children. I have continually made a commitment to the Lord to do all that I personally can to liberate children from pain and suffering and give them a better life. I realize that I cannot reach every child, but I know in my heart that every child I touch, every child I hold, every child I smile at, and every child I love has been given the message that someone in this world cares and loves for him or her. Sometimes I think we as people get so caught up in making a big difference that we forget how much of a difference a little difference can make. We fail to show love in the small ways because we think we don’t have the time, money, or resources to show love in the big ways. I may not be able to change the world in one day by loving one person, but I may be able to improve that one person’s day, influence his perspective, and change his life forever. I may never know the impact I have made on a person, but I do know that if I do not reach out in love to even one person I have not made an impact on anyone. One of the goals of my life is to impact as many people as I possibly can because I know that by making an impact on even one person, you have made an impact on the world. One of the philosophies I live by is to always leave a place better than I found it, and I believe that with the help of my Lord this goal can be accomplished.

The Joy of Africa

2009-02-09T05:12:00.000-08:00

I have been back in Uganda for less than a week, but I have again realized the many reasons I love ministering in Africa. I have experienced a range of emotions-as I usually do when I am in the continent of Africa. My heart has been overwhelmed with both joy and sorrow as I see and hear a variety of things. Nevertheless, today I am going to focus on the joy of being in Africa because I truly do love Africa very much.

As I see the love, kindness, and generosity of the Ugandan people my heart is filled with joy and gratitude by their efforts to welcome me. I have always been deeply encouraged and inspired by their thoughtfulness toward me. It amazes me that I am coming here to bless them; and yet, I myself am so richly blessed by them.

As I hear them speak their local languages and try to speak the language myself, I am filled with joy. I love when their faces light up as they hear a muzungu (white person) speaking in their native tongue. I still have a long way to go in my language learning, but it is definitely progressing. Actually, I have been focusing on Luganda, but soon I will be back to learning Lutooro. (I am currently staying in the capital city to finalize some details of the children’s village before I go to Kyenjojo, and they speak a different language.)

As I see the beauty of the land and gaze at the breathtaking views in the sky, I remember that God showers his love on us in so many ways. We just have to take the time to notice them.
I love the joy of ministering to the African people. As I find opportunities to touch various people and show them the love of Jesus, my heart dances within me. I don’t think I could experience any greater joy than when I see hurting people smile as they hear the story of Jesus or am given the opportunity to watch their eyes twinkle as they are being touched by the Lord.
I enjoy seeing and hearing the familiar sights and sounds of an African street or village-especially the voices of the children. How they fill my heart with joy! Their “muzungu” shouts, their conversational efforts (“Muzungu, How are you?, Bye.”), their cute complexions, as well as many other aspects capture my heart every time. As I sit in the crowded taxi, ride the Boda Boda (motorcycle), see the small shops and the various house structures, and cross the crowded streets, I am quickly reminded that I am back in Africa.

Finally, the sight and sound that I love most is when I see the Ugandans dance and hear them sing praises to the Lord. I am always deeply moved by their passion and sincerity. I have realized that when they worship God, they do it wholeheartedly. When I visit Africa, I find many of the people here know what it is like to own little material possessions and suffer in numerous ways; however, they have also found the joy that only Jesus can give. They have discovered portant truth that if you have Jesus you have everything. They have faced many sorrows and disappointments, but they have concluded that Jesus is always faithful and will never disappoint his children. They express gratitude with their voices and their hearts for the Lord’s love and faithfulness. They comprehend that the true ingredients for peace and joy are not to conquer the storms of life or remove them, but to learn how to dance in the rain. I pray that these lessons will continue to transform my life and the manner in which I live.

I thank God for giving me the opportunity to come to Africa. The Lord is using all of the experiences of my life in Africa to teach me more about Him and His ways, as well as strengthen my walk with Him.

My Strong Refuge

2009-02-04T04:23:00.000-08:00

I have safely reached Uganda. It feels wonderful to be back in my new home. Nevertheless, I have to say that it has been an extremely stressful last couple of days for me. I had a number of problems with my flights, including one flight actually being canceled due to the snow in London. I was able to catch another flight through a different airline just in time. (God definitely sends angels to help me and guide me. If it would not have been for this airline worker, I definitely would have not made it to London on time.) As a result of all of this, I think that my luggage was lost. I am missing four of my checked in bags. The luggage service is going to try to track it, but they aren't guaranteeing anything. Please pray that I receive it.

As event after event has changed in my life and circumstances sometimes drain my energy and play with my emotions, I am constantly reminded about what truly matters in life. I am so thankful that Jesus is unchanging and his grace and love for us is always available. As I continue to be bombarded with confusion and chaos (at times), I run to my hiding place where I know I will always find refuge. I was thinking yesterday-as I felt so utterly weak and helpless-I am very thankful I have Jesus to go with me wherever I go. I am truly grateful that I never have to travel alone. It has been very reassuring to be reminded of the strength, peace, and joy of the Lord. In fact, I have found that as I am bombarded with my weakness and inadequacy, I am also embraced with God's strength and total adequacy. Every time I think in my mind or heart "I can't do this," I sense the Lord's presence and hear him say, "You don't have to." I have found that one of the most valuable lessons, and yet the most difficult to practice is "Let go, and let God."

I am continually challenged to look through my eyes of faith and believe that God is with me and is directing my steps. I find that as I continue to release control to the one who holds my life and future: it actually appears that things are more in control. I find that the only way I can find rest for my soul is to release my burdens to the Lord and let him have his way in my life. The results may not look anything like what I expected, but the finished product will always be more beautiful than I could have ever imagined or created.

Please pray that as I embark on this new and vast adventure, I will let the Lord steer my ship. I want to fully depend on him-knowing and also living the truth that without him I am nothing, but with him I am everything.

Living God's Dream

2008-12-12T19:12:00.000-08:00

When I first made the decision at nine years old to live God's dream, I know that I did not fully understand what it would mean for me to do this. I did not understand what it would cost me in future years or how drastically my life would change. I did not understand the challenges that I would face, but I also was unaware of how amazing it would be to see God's hand at work in the minute details of my life. I could not have comprehended the events that would take place in my life as I fully surrendered every part of myself to him. I could not have known the joy that would fill my own heart as I was truly able to participate in the work of the maker of Heaven and earth-serving as a handmaiden simply responding to the voice and signals of her master. I definitely did not realize how beautiful it would be to see God expand my vision and resources to bring life and hope to the destitute and despairing people of Africa.

When I made the decision as an adult to leave the familiar and comfortable-my teaching position, my family, my friends, my culture, as well as many other things-I could not have known all that such a big resolution would entail. I could not have known the adventure that I would be embarking on. I could not have known the cost that would be paid nor the price that would be gained. I most certainly did not realize all that God was going to release as I stepped out in faith and obedience.

One thing that I did comprehend when I made the decision to go to Uganda, Africa is that "the will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not keep you". I definitely understood that "the safest place to be is in the will of God," and I was fully convinced that when God says go, you follow in obedience. I realized that there was no turning back for me-My life would be changed forever.

My life has changed forever, and I can't wait to return to my new home in Uganda. My heart aches to return to the suffering and neglected children. I long to once more hold as many children as I can in my arms and show them love. I yearn to do more for the abandoned children that I have seen with my own eyes. I am compelled to respond to the cries of the children and people in the villages.

Nevertheless, as I have spent the last two months in America I have also learned even more about what it truly means to live God's dream. I have learned that living God's dream is more about trust and faith than anything else. Living God's dream is about believing God for the impossible and living out that belief in your life every day. It is about choosing faith over fear and victory over defeat. It is about choosing to keep your eyes focused on the one who holds your future instead of on what the future holds.

It is about choosing to trust that God is faithful and trustworthy, even when everything in life seems so much bigger than you are, when everything familiar suddenly becomes unfamiliar, when you take on challenges that you have never faced before, when circumstances don't seem to make sense, or when God sends you down a path that you would not have chosen for yourself. It is about firmly believing that God will always be there for you and that he will provide all that you need-at just the right time- in order for you to fulfill the dream that he has dreamed for you.

I am humbled that God has chosen me to live his dream for the orphans of Uganda, and I am overwhelmed at the realization that God delights in using frail human beings to accomplish his purpose of saving the world. Yet, I have found that there is no greater joy than responding to the call of my master and pursuing the mission for which I was created.

I pray that I will never lose the awe and wonder of the God that I serve and will always delight in doing his will. I pray that I will always remember that it is not my strength, but his power. It is not my adequacy, but his sufficiency. It is not my confidence, but his trustworthiness. It is not my love, but his compassion. It is not my dream, but his vision.

Thank you very much for all of your love, support, and prayers. God is doing so many wonderful things in my life. I give him all of the glory, honor, and praise. He continues to astound me with his goodness. I thank God for the many doors of opportunity that have opened since I have been back in America. I eagerly anticipate even greater things in the days, weeks, and years to come!

Please continue to keep me in your prayers as I endeavor to serve the Lord with all of my heart, soul, strength, and life.

We now have this light (of God) shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
II Corinthians 4:7-10

Worth the Cost

2008-10-15T05:10:00.000-07:00

I was in Africa for 4 months, and I absolutely loved my experiences there. I had many opportunities to bring the love of Jesus to others, which is the deep passion of my heart. Nothing brings me more joy and satisfaction than reaching out to the lonely, rejected, burdened, depressed, hopeless, abandoned, sick, and dying people of Africa-especially the children. I do not consider my move to Africa to be a loss at all; instead I see it as an opportunity to gain more than I could ever have imagined. I don't see this change in my life to be a sacrifice; instead, I see it as an honor. I willingly sacrifice my comforts and desires that I might bring more comfort, life and hope to others. I am very thankful to God that I have been given the opportunity not only to live my childhood dream, but also to give children the opportunity to dream.

Every moment that I have spent in Africa and haven't spent in America has been completely worth it. Every sacrifice that I have made to live in Africa has been worth the cost. I have found that if I can make one child smile or laugh, my own heart smiles and sings. If I can hold one child for a few moments and make him or her feel safe and loved, it makes every moment that I have been away from my loved ones in America worthwhile. If I can comfort one child that is hurting and wipe his or her tears away, it is worth every comfort that I have left in America to devote my life to ministry in Africa. If I can give even one homeless child a loving home, it is worth leaving my home in America to find a new home in Africa. If I can bring even one thirsty or dehydrated child a drink of water, it is worth every day that I have to walk to the well and carry a heavy water jug instead of getting water from an American sink. If I can give food to one hungry or starving child, it is worth eating various new foods that I have never eaten before or missing foods that I have always eaten in America. If I can help one abandoned child learn to read or receive an education, it is worth abandoning my teaching career in America and pursuing a new career of service in Africa.

I pray that I will make a tremendous difference in Uganda. I know that the Lord is faithful and that he can help me to produce changes in this nation. I am very eager to continue in the work that God has planned for me. I will be returning to the US for a few months in October, but then I will be returning to Uganda in January. It is my heart's desire to see the dream that God has given me about constructing a children's home be fulfilled, and I pray that it will happen soon because I see so many orphans around me. It breaks my heart to see the deep need that exists here in the village where I am staying, but I know that I can make an impact on these children as I continue to pursue all that God has laid on my heart and reach out to them with the love of the Heavenly father.

It is my prayer that I will soon bring some of these children under my arms and carry them home. I strongly believe and stand firmly in faith that this will come to pass because I serve an awesome God-a God in which nothing is impossible. The bigger the need is-the bigger the miracle!

Called to Love

2008-10-07T00:51:00.000-07:00

As I have spent the last four months in Africa, I have realized more than anything that I am called to love. It is my desire to bring hope to the hopeless, rescue the abandoned, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, offer water to the thirsty, and bring education to the illiterate. Yet, I have found that the most important gift that I have to offer the world is love. I have found that our actions make the greatest impact only when they are compelled by a sincere love from deep inside the heart. It may appear easy to drop a coin to a homeless child sitting on the street in a pile of urine, but a deep love and compassion for that child may compel you to hold the child on your lap and pray for him. It may seem easy to toss a coin to a beggar on the street, but true love for that woman may require you to stop and greet her-to take her hand in your hand and look her in the eye-to speak kind words to her and tell her that Jesus loves her. Having a compassionate heart for the hurting may involve experiencing pain in your own heart as you empathize with those less fortunate than yourself. True love will require time and sacrifice, but it will always prove to be worthwhile. It may look different everyday, but it will always be driven by sincere compassion. As Mother Theresa quoted, "It is not the magnitude of our actions but the amount of love that is put into them that matters."It is my desire to carry more love every day. As I reach out to others, I don't want them to just receive something of monetary value. I want them to receive something of eternal value-the love of Christ.
I will share more about my experiences. I am returning to the US tomorrow; therefore, I will have easy access to the computer and internet.
I pray God's blessings on each one of you. Thank you for your love and support.

Fruitfulness and Intimacy

2008-08-22T00:45:00.000-07:00

The best way to summarize my time here in Pemba is by quoting the following words of a worship song that we sang at Iris Mission's School.

The more I seek you-the more I find you. The more I find you-the more I love you.

I spent much of my time in Pemba seeking after God and seeking after his heart. This pursuit didn't always look the same, but it was the passion of my heart. Some moments it looked like soaking in the presence of God during worship or hearing his words of truth being expressed through various speakers. Other moments it happened as I quieted my soul near the ocean waves and listened to his voice speak to me through the beauty of nature. Still other moments it happened as I stopped to hold and pray for a child, love the person in front of me, stop to shake the hand of a beggar or lame person, pray for the sick, feel compassion for the needy, or bring a smile to someone's face by taking the time to smile at them (as well as many other ways).

Heidi has continued to emphasize the truth that fruitfulness flows out of intimacy. I have not only heard this truth with my ears, but also with my heart. God has continued to show me that everything that we do should be an expression of our love for the Lord. If we are operating out of pity, obligation, or self satisfaction instead of love, we will not truly offer hurting people what they need. We will not truly be ministering with the heart of Jesus. Galatians 5:6b says, "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." As a result of our faith and love in the Lord, we can bring hope to the nations. However, if we miss the importance of being filled with the love of the Lord, we will miss the calling that God has appointed for us. We can only offer the love of Christ, if we passionately pursue loving Jesus with a pure heart and also receive his pure love for us.

As I have spent more time with God this summer, he continues to transform every aspect of my life. I know that there is no turning back, but I am so thankful that he is continuing to change my heart and life so that I can effectively carry Jesus to the world-not out of my strength, but his-not out of my own love, but his.

It is my prayer that we all experience true intimacy with the Lord, and out of that place we bear much fruit.

John 15:4 "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

Thank you for all of your support and prayers. God bless.

A Week of Experiencing God’s Love

2008-07-05T07:58:00.000-07:00

This week has been a wonderful week in Mozambique! God continues to bless my life as I get the opportunity to bless the Mozambicans. It has been very rewarding to be here. I greatly enjoy spending time with the people-trying to dance, speak their language, etc. They laugh at me most of the time, and I laugh with them. I find that it t is a wonderful expression of love and friendship. God has definitely given me such a love for the African people. I say that sometimes my heart feels as though it will explode with joy because I am so happy to be in Africa. I praise God for giving me such a love for the people here. I know that God loves these people immensely. I am humbled by the fact that he has chosen me to be a bearer of his love to these people. I pray that wherever I go I will always take Jesus and His love with me. I want to be so full of God’s presence that Jesus is all they see when they look at me.

I have also found that as I love the African people, God has been speaking to me about his love for me. He has really been touching my heart this week with his faithful and unfailing love. It is so beautiful that Jesus love never fails. It is so encouraging to know that no matter what we face or what we do; Jesus will always be there and will never stop loving us.

I have also been challenged to go even deeper in intimacy with Jesus. God has really been speaking to my heart about being his bride. I have always heard of this analogy and read about it in the Bible, but this week God has made it very real to my heart. The king of the universe has chosen me to be his bride. He has chosen me to bestow his grace and love upon. I have been sensing that God wants me to truly commit all of my love and life to him. I have been challenged to place Jesus as my highest priority-even over ministering to the Africans. It is very easy to get busy doing good things for the Lord and not take time to love Jesus and let him love on you. However, we must not forget that in order to always have enough love to give away, we have to be continually filled with Jesus love. If I seek to love or minister to others in my own strength, I will eventually grow tired and weary, and my well of love will run dry. I have to have my well full of the living water that Jesus gives, in order to give that refreshing and reviving water to others.

I pray that the love of Jesus will also be made real to you. I pray that you will feel his love even greater than you have ever felt it before. God bless everyone! Thank you for your love and prayers. I deeply appreciate you.

Taking Jesus to the BUSH, BUSH!

2008-06-30T07:21:00.000-07:00

I went on an evangelistic outreach last weekend in the bush, bush. (The reason that they call it the bush, bush is because it is really out in the middle of nowhere.) There are only grass huts, no electricity, and no running water. There were many people in this area who were starving, malnourished, and extremely impoverished. My heart was deeply burdened and broken as I witnessed the needs in this village.

This outreach experience was a very exciting trip! I saw God work in amazing ways during the three days that we were gone. It was also wonderful to see God take all that the enemy intended for harm and use it for good.

One of these situations happened about twenty minutes after we left the IRIS base. We had almost 30 people crowded in the back of our truck, so we blew out a tire as we were driving down the road. (Praise God that it was not one of the main tires, so it didn't cause an accident!)

The first place that we stopped to get the tire fixed temporarily was a small village. While we were waiting for the tire to get fixed, we began praying for people to get healed. There was a lady who had a knee and back problem. We prayed for her, and she got healed. She also did not know Jesus. We shared God's love with her, and she accepted Christ into her heart. You could see the joy in her face as she moved her leg freely. Then another lady came who could not see clearly out of her one eye. We prayed for her, and her vision improved. A third lady had a problem with her kidneys. After we prayed for her, she told us that she felt better than she had been feeling. We believe God for total recovery in the near future.

We had to stop at a second place to fix the tire properly. This time a quadriplegic was brought to us for prayer. We all prayed for him very intensely. As we were praying, we did not see him healed, but I do believe that God's love was made real to him that day. While I was praying, God laid it on my heart to wash this man's feet. One of the Mozambican interpreters helped pour water on his feet while I washed. This was a very sacred moment for me. It really touched my heart. I prayed and wept as I washed his feet. I was very thankful that I was given the opportunity to show God's love to this man. When we left, the man thanked me for washing his feet, and he had a smile on his face.

One of the things that I have found to be very difficult in praying for healing is that if their illness isn't cured, I feel as though I have not given them anything.

However, on this trip, God has been showing me that healing in the heart is just as important as physical healing. Everyone needs to be touched by God's love, and God's love is a gift that I can always give to the sick. I can always give them a taste of Jesus and his love.

When we arrived at our destination, we were able to have a service that night for the people of the village. We shared the gospel message through a drama and testimonies. Then one of the IRIS people preached a sermon. There was an altar call at the end of the service. We prayed for people to receive Jesus and also prayed for the sick.

I was able to pray for many people. Most of the people that I prayed for seemed to have headaches or stomach pain. I didn't always have a translator, so sometimes I had to guess about what the problem was by where they pointed on their bodies. Almost all of the people told the translator that they felt better or gave me some hand signal to say that they were feeling better after I prayed for them.

I must share that this was the first time that I have really engaged in healing ministry, but I can say that I truly did feel the power of God upon me as I prayed for people. I have never experienced anything like this. This weekend I was able to see three people walk, who had not walked for a long time. It was an amazing experience for me. I was filled with joy as I continued to pray for people. I also saw many people be filled with joy in their hearts. I belive that God's love touched people's hearts and that they experienced inner healings as well.

The second day I was able to pray for more people and lead 4 people to Christ who had never heard about Jesus. There was also a baptismal service for the people who got saved the night before.

I will end this blog with two stories that touched my heart the most. The first one is about a lady named Julietta. She was an elderly lady that was extremely malnourished. You could clearly see her bones through her body, and she had tattered clothes. My heart was deeply moved as I looked at her. I asked the interpreter if he would ask Julietta if I could pray for her. She said that I could. I sat down in the dirt with her and began to pray for her. I then asked the interpreter to ask her if she knew Jesus. She said that she didn't know about him, but she would love for me to tell her about him. I shared about Jesus and what he had done for my life. Then I asked her if she wanted to ask Jesus into her heart. She said. "Yes." After I finished praying for her, she told the translator that she was very sad before I came and prayed, but now she was very happy. I could tell from her facial expressions that a change had truly taken place. She also told the translator that she knew that Jesus was here. I was so touched that I began to cry tears of joy. This experience blessed my life immensely! I give all glory and honor to God for his faithful love and compassion. It is a beautiful thing to see the love of Jesus bringing hope to the despairing. During on final service the next day, I danced with Julietta. It was such a joyful experience. We laughed throughout the whole experience. (The Africans always laugh at me when I dance with them. I am going to try to get one of the Africans to give me dance lessons so I can improve my dancing skills.)

The last story I want to tell is about an infant that I prayed for. I was not sure what was wrong with her, but I knew that she was very sick. I could feel that she had a fever, and her mother pointed to the baby's head and stomach. I began to pray for her. I sensed that I should ask the mother to hold the child in my arms. I found an interpreter to ask the mother if it was fine for me to do this. The mother agreed. I held the little baby in my arms and prayed fervently for her. I imagined that it was Jesus who was holding her and continued to pray for healing. I rocked her in my arms for about five minutes as I prayed. Then I felt her forehead. Her fever was completely gone! I was so excited that I shouted for joy. Then I gave her back to her mother. Her mother was also very happy!

I praise God for being so good and faithful. He is truly an awesome God!

The final thing that I want to share about this outreach is that I had another opportunity to experience the compassion of God's heart. As I looked into the people's eyes and touched them and hugged them, my heart broke so many times. I continued to pray that I would look at them with Jesus' eyes of love and compassion. I believe that God answered this prayer because even now I still can remember the desperation in their faces and my heart hurts for the great needs that so many of them have. I pray that God will continue to send people to come and help those who are needy and have little hope (both pysically and spiritually). There are needy people all around us, but we have to let Jesus' love and compassion capture our hearts so that we are compelled to bring life to others and to search for the treasures that exist in the darkness.

I have personally been challenged to keep opening up my heart to Jesus so that his love will abudnantly pour out of my life.

Beauty in Brokenness

2008-06-30T06:52:00.000-07:00

Beauty and broken are two words that do not seem to belong together-especially in a world that focuses on fixing impurities and covering imperfections. Our society has trained us to reject the imperfect or incomplete and always fix what is broken. As a perfectionist, I personally have struggled to attain a high standard of excellence and have applied much pressure on myself to be strong and without flaw. Yet, God continues to challenge the mindsets that have bound me for so long. This process began a few years ago, but continues to intensify, especially now that I am in Pemba.

In fact, one morning as I was walking along the beach, God vividly spoke to me about the beauty that exists in brokenness. As I was praying and walking along the beach, my foot kicked something in the sand. I knelt down to look at what I had kicked. When I picked up the object, I saw a brightly colored seashell. The colors were so exquisite that I determined that it was the most beautiful seashell that I had ever seen. Yet, I also noticed that the shell was broken and part of it was missing. I thought to myself, "I don't want to keep this shell because it is broken. I want to keep a shell that is whole," so I threw it back in the sand.

A few minutes later, as my friend and I were walking back to the base, my friend showed me a shell that she had found. She asked me, "Isn't it beautiful?" "Yes, it is." I replied. Then I said, "I also found one that was very beautiful, but it was broken."

The moment that these words came out of my mouth I began to weep uncontrollably. Immediately God quickened my heart and spirit and spoke to me about the beauty that he sees in my brokenness. It was as though he was saying to me, "I see your brokenness, but I also see immense beauty. I delight in your brokenness."

God used this small object lesson to reiterate a key principle about the kingdom of God. It says in Psalm 51:17, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."

So many times we look at our lives and think we need to fix up ourselves in order for God to use us. We think that our flaws and weaknesses will prevent God from completing his work in and through our lives. We keep our eyes on our inadequacies; instead of focusing on Jesus.

However, God does not focus on our weaknesses. At the moments that we are the weakest, he is the strongest. He wants us to come before him as we are and ask him to help us. He doesn't want people who find strength in themselves. He wants people who will die to themselves and fully rely on his strength. As we present our broken selves before him, he can then complete us and make us whole-only then can his love and power flow freely through us.

God has continued to remind me that I can do nothing without him. Everyday I need to ask him to empower me, strengthen me, and give me more wisdom and love. It is out of my brokenness that the true beauty of Jesus can shine brightly. He receives all of the glory for everything that I do because I know that without him I could never act, love, and serve others the way that I should.

God wants me to need him so desperately that I do nothing on my own strength. If I don't see myself as broken-always needing him to make me complete-I will not be an image bearer of Jesus. I pray that my heart and life will always be soft and broken before the Lord. I pray that I will always see that I am in desperate need of Jesus. Jesus is the only one who can make me whole. Lord, give me a humble and contrite heart, and "may I go lower still"-as Heidi says so many times when she preaches.

Since I have arrived in Pemba, one of the scriptures that Heidi continues to emphasize is the beatitude: Blessed are the Poor in Spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. She has been talking to us about developing the attitude that we are poor in ourselves and that we desperately need Jesus to help us. She told us that her experiences with the poor taught her invaluable lessons about true Christianity. One of these lessons was the following: As it is with the poor, unless we are fed by the word and presence of God, we will die.

As I was feeding thousands of hungry people this weekend, I could see the desperation and longing for food in their faces. I was challenged to ask myself, "Do I have that kind of intense hunger for more of Jesus? Does my heart reflect desperation for more the bread of life and living water that Jesus has to offer me?" I sincerely pray that it does and always will.

I also pray that Jesus will give each one of us a burning hunger for more of him.

Amen

First Week in Mozambique

2008-06-07T07:06:00.000-07:00

I have spent one week in Mozambique now. It is very beautiful here-in more ways than one. IRIS Ministries is located directly across from Pemba beach. The ocean is gorgeous. Nevertheless, you still find differences from American beaches. You cannot just sit on the beach in the afternoon and pray and think because at least one African man is going to sit down and talk to you. (When you are white, privacy is very difficult to find in Africa!)

Yet, the beach is not the most beautiful thing that I find here. The loveliest part of my experience here has been the refreshing presence of God. My heart has been so deeply moved as God sings over me each day. My prayer is that my hunger and desire for more of God is never quenched. The beautiful thing about God’s presence is-The more we experience, the more we long to experience it. The burning desire of my heart is for God to love on me and for me to love on Him. I know that the only way to find true joy and satisfaction is to be fully satisfied in God. I also know that I will only love others with God’s love as God fills me with his love. I am continually challenged with this thought, “What would Jesus do at this moment to show God’s love to a lost and dying world?” I pray that God fills me with his love so that each moment I love as Jesus would love.

I have been attending classes every day until 1:00. Heidi Baker has instructed us twice since I have been here. She truly is an amazing woman. I am so blessed to be here. It is an honor and privilege to study under her. I know that I am going to learn so much from her.

God has continually been speaking to my heart since I have arrived. I find that he again is challenging my heart and my perspectives on life.